Monday, March 19, 2012

TIRED & RETIRED

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Sardar Writes An Essay On Father

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' .
He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read:

I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE..
MY TRUE FATHER IS MY Neighbour.

TIME PASS NO. 8

Sardar Ji checked his girlfriend's mobile to know under what name she had saved his number, when he dialed his number from her phone, it showed "TIME PASS NO. 8"

Ticket

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."

After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"

Blood Bank

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.

Sardar Washed Clothes

Whenever A Sardar Washed Clothes That Day It Rained,One Day The Weather Was Plesant So He Thought To Wash Clothes.

He Started Going To Market To Buy Detergent,Suddenly The Weather Started Turning Bad.

He(SARDAR)Said:Why Are You Turning Bad I Came Here To Buy Biscuits.

Dreams Come True

sirdar jee made love to a beaytifull girl in his dream.
Next morning he went straight to the bank where it was written outside

"We will make your dreams come true"

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Slowly

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Pathan asked: Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing to my 6 yr old daughter,
he can not read very fast

Bird

A bird was Disturbing a Pathan all the time.
.
.
Finally the Pathan caught it and decides to kill it cruelly,
.
He took it to the top of a building.
.
.
.
.
.
And dropped it!

Leaked

Sardar came to exam hall with a plumber
> Teacher:::Why have you brought a plumber along??
> Sardar::::Sir,I heard that the question paper is
> leaked... 

Chekoslovakya

Pathan takin an interview and sardar as an intervier

> Sardar in an interview
> Intervier:::Where were u born?
> Sardar::::::Chekoslovakya
> Intervier:::Tell the spelling
> Sardar::::::sorry sir, I was born in GoA

Picture

Why does Pathan sardar smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken

Recipe

Why can't Pathan make ice cubes?

They always forget the recipe.

Below 18

Why did 18 Pathan go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

She Is Back

A Sardar To His Pathan Friend :

Sardar:

My Wife Died Yesterday.!!

I m Trying To Cry;-(

But Tears r Not Coming Out:->

Wat To Do.?

Pathan:

No Problem

Just Imagine

She Is Back

Monday, March 5, 2012

Oxygen Tube

Sardar went to meet his Chinese friend who is dieing in hospital.

Man says CHIN YU YAN and then he dies.

Sardar goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

The Meaning is YOU ARE STANDNG ON THE OXYGEN TUBE!

Why Sardar Suicide

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.

Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.

He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".

Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die "

Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says " Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor"

Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says " I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch "

The Bengali's widow says " I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch"

The sardarji's widow says " I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!!

Hot N Cold

A Pathan goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Pathan then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Pathan says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Pathan boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Pathan replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

I got the Job

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.

The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him."

The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews."

Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?"

The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder..!

Lie Detector

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector.


The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.

The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"All right, 8 hamburgers".
And the machine's silent.

The Sardarji says: "I think.......", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

Sister

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.

Award 2012

Best Mitti Paleet Award of the year 2012

Nominees are:

Pathans from Afghanistan,

Sardar from India,

P.Musharraf from Pakistan,

But

Award goes to,

Faraz….

I Will Drive

Sardar & his wife going 2 city in auto….
driver adjusted mirror..
sardarji shouted u r seeing my wife…
go & sit back i will drive the auto…

Abu Dabi

For job intrview Question.

British to Sardar: “where is abu dabi?”

Sardar:

“jis qubrastan ty Ami Dabi,

Ody naal e zara para kr k Abu dabi”.

Total

Teacher to Sardar: Ur son is fail, see his report:

English-6
Maths-7
Social Studies-4
Science-8

Total-25

Sardar: TOTAL vich te kamal e kr dita. Is subject di te tution v nai rakhwai c…

MS Dhoni

Teacher:
Tell the name of Any Microsoft Product?
Sam:
MS Excel
John:
MS Word
Matt:
MS PowerPoint
Sardar After Thinking a lot:
.
.
.
.
.
“MS Dhoni”.

MICROSOFT office

Saedar went to MICROSOFT office

for Interview……

Interviewer: Tell me any 4 versions

of JAVA.?

.

Sardar:Mar Java,,Mit Java, Lut Java,

Main Sadke Java,,

Zebra

One day a Donkey kicked Sardar on his back
&
Run away.
Next day Sardar found Zebra in the field,
He kicked him
&
said: Salay Tracksuit pehn kar dhoka deta hai.

Lecture on Sun

Teacher: Tomorrow There will be a Lecture on Sun.

Everyone must attend it.

Pathan: No! I will Not be Able to Attend it.

Teacher: Why?

Pathan: My mother will not Allow Me to Go So Far.

There was a cold day

How an american will tell his
Pathan sevent to open the door?
.
.
.
Think
.
.
.
Don’t know?
.
.
.
Ok say this fastly in American style.
“There was a cold day”

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Lottery Ticket

Sardar wins 20 cror from Rs.20 lottery ticket

Dealer gave 11 cror after deducting tax

Sardar got angry and said

give me 20 cror or else return my 20 rupees back

A sardarji goes to a chinese resturant

A sardarji goes to a chinese resturant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can't get it
because he is the owner of resturant.

Resturant

A sardar goes to a resturant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?

Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?

1st ever intelligent sardar

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything

Sardar on Phone

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking

What is Skeleton?

Interview:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

Call Center

Pathan got job in a telenor call centre.
Customer: telenor sim blocked what to do?
Pathan: dont take tension remove telenor &
put warid sim.
Thank you for calling ufone.

Sun Or Moon

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :
Is that a sun or moon?

Other Sardar replies :
Oye ! No idea‚¦Im new to this city..

Beautiful Sweater

Pathan's wife bought a beautiful sweater 4 her husband...
She sent it to him by parcel along wid a note... Tht said
"d buttons of d sweatr r removd since they were too heavy & added to d postage. U'll find 'em in d rite hand pocket of da sweater..."

See My Legs

In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Electric Motor Run

in an interview,
interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
SARDAR: dhuurrrrrrrrrr..
Interviewr shouts: stop it !
SARDAR: dhurr dhup dup dup dup

Who killed Gandhiji

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was
asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will
investigate

Interview 4 Job

Sardar was giving interview 4 job Interviewer: Tell me opposite of:
gud
sardar: Bad
intvwr: Come
sardar: Go
intvwr: Ugly
Srdar: Pichli
intvwr: Shutup!
Srdr: Keep talking
intvwr: Get out!
Srdr: Come in
intvwr: Oh God!
Srdr: Oh devil
intvwr: U R rejected!
Srdr: I m selected
BALLE BALLE!!

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