Sardar was reading financial times. Headline reads "Microsoft buys skype for $8.5 billion."

He says "o teri, khareeda kyon... .download kar leta...."

1 sardarni dusri sardarni se: Meri 20 saal tak koi olaad nai hui

Dusri sardarni: Phir ? 

1st sardarni: Phir kia, jab me 21 sal ki hui to abu ne meri shadi kar di aaj Mola k fazal se 3 kake hain

1 sardar bus main betha us k samnay 1 molvi beth gia sardar dar gia or bola "molana saab tusi dum darood walay oo yha bumb barood walay?"

Pessenger : Agr Sub Trains Late Hon To Time Table Ka Kya Faida ?

. . Phatan : Agr Sb Trains Waqt Per Hon To Waiting Room Ka Kya Faida . .

Motorway police:KHAN ap 180 Kì speed sy kyn ja rahy ho

KHAN:Tm logn ny he to side waly board pe likha hy:

YAD RAKHN GHR PE KOI AP KA INTIZR KR RHA HY 

Pathan raat ko Machardani laga kar so raha tha: Achanak ek Jugnoo aa nikla. . . . . . .

Pathan: Lo ye khocha machar humko Torch le kar dondh raha hai.

Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?

Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai

Sardar to Pathan: Batti te Batti kintay honday?

Pathan: Very simple Do Battian.

Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

Pathan: Thanks Yara..

Pathan: Mujy rat ko neend me khotay football khelte nazr atey hen.

Dr. Aj ye goli kha lena.

Pathan: Kal na kha lon?

Dr: Q?

Pathan: Aj unka final match hy.....

A sardar threw 6 cricket balls at his Girl Friend's house.

Girl Friend: what was that for?

Sardar: Its Over

Sardar doctor sb mainon neend ni aandi, Doctor:2000 tak ginti gina karo, neend aa jaey gi. Dosry din sardar ny bataya, Doctor sb:1000 taak ponchiya c neend aa gai,fer doodh patti bana k peeti, fer dosra 1000 poora gin k soya

Faqeer: 5 rupay ka sawal hai baba. . . .

Pathan: Chalo pocho shayd ham ko jawab ata ho...

Afsar:Tell me the opposite of "day". Pathan:Night Afsar:Cool Pathan:warm Afsar:Ugly Pathan: pichli Afsar:I said"UGLY" Pathan:I said "PICHLI" Afsar: oh my God Pathan: oh my devil Afsar:Get out Pathan:Come in Afsar:U r rejected Pathan:I am selected! Afsar: keep quiet. Pathan: speak tight. Afsar: go to hell. Pathan: come to paradise. Afsar: nikal jao jahil kahi ke. Pathan: andar aao laiq yahin ke. Afsar: police ko bulao. Pathan: Fauj ko bulao. Afsar: uffff Pathan: Tufffff. Afsar.purrrrrrr Pathan. Turrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr kuch b kar le tera baap b ab mujhe fail nahi kar sakta.

aik sardar k betay ne admission form fill krte wakt baap se pucha k is men MOTHER TONGUE waly khany men kia lkhna he sardar ne kaha likh de puter VERY LONG..

Pathan: Hum is kamre me nhi rahe ga hmko pagal samjha hai kia? Paisa itna diya or kamra itna chota sa..... Waiter: Oye, Paagle andar to chal ye lift hai.

Interviewer: Sardarji, Where were u born?
Sardarji: In punjab.
Interviewer: Which part ?
Sardarji: Which part?, Whole body born in punjab…

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

Once price Charles and a Sardarji were having dinner. Prince said: pass the wine u divine. Sardar thought how poetic so he said: pass the custard u bastard..

A Sardarji was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman. He whispered into her ear, "I love you." She smiled and whispered back,"I love you too". then he whispered, "I love you three."

What is the height of stupidity? 2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat.

Sardar was giving Railway interview.
Interviewer: what to do to avoid train accidents..?
Sardar: HUMPS should be made on Railway Tracks.

Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM... what’ll u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sister? Sardar’s son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum!

DR.CHOPRA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST WANTED HIS NAME TO BE
PAINTED IN FRONT OF HIS CLINIC.GIVE THE WORK A SARDAR.
HE WROTE LIKE THIS:-

DR.CHOPRA PSYCHO THE RAPIST !!

SARDARJI AND HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO.
DRIVER ADJESTED MIRROR.
SARDARJI SHOUTED " U R SEEING MY WIFE,
U RASCAL GO AND SIT BACK I WILL DRIVE.

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Sardar2: ho, truck nambar BC-1760!!

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to USA?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up.

How do you identify a Sardar in a classroom ?

It is simple.. check who's erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board.

Sardar, standing on a platform, suddenly jumps on a railway track.

Man: Oye Sardarji.. mar jaaoge.

Sardarji: Marega tho tu.. Sunaa nahi ? Train platform par aa rahi hai.

Sardar set his marriage on March second.

His invitation read: "Marriage on March second. Please come on first night"

Friend: Yaar, tujhe to Cancer hai. Par tum sabko AIDS kyun bataataa hai ?

Sardar: Taki mere marne ke baad meri biwi ko koi line na maare.

2 Sardar ko 3 bomb mile. Police ko dene chale.

Sardar 1: Agar koi bomb raste me phat gaya to ?

Sardar 2: Jhoot bol denge ki sirf 2 hi mile the.

Ek raat power jaane ke baad..

Sardar1: Jaldi se fan chlao.
Sardar2: kar di na sardaron wali baat,fan on karenge to candle nahin bhuj jayegi.

Sardar was writing past tence of "I make a mistake"

Guess what he wrote ?

"I was made by a mistake"

Napoleon: There are no words called IMPOSSIBLE and FEAR in my dictionary.
Sardar: What should I do ? You should have checked it before buying

Sardar went for an interview.

Question: When is your birthday ?
Sardar: Jan 15.
Question: Which year ?
Sardar: Every year !!

A Sardar was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated. He drank the poison and said: "Ab kaato saalo... Sab maroge"

A sardar soldier cought an enemy soldier.

Sardar: Play this dice. If you get 1,2,3,4 or 5 I will leave you.
Enemy: What if I get 6 ?
Sardar: You have to play again !!

.
1st archer, wearing a long cap covering his face, fires an arrow, which finds center of the target.
He takes off his cap & said:
I'M ROBIN HOOD
Crowd cheers
.
2nd archer with a cap fires his arrow, which cuts Robin Hoods arrow into 2. He
takes off his cap & said:
I'M WILLIAM TELL.
Crowd cheers
.
Finally Sardar with cap fires his arrow. It flies past the crowd & kills the king
.
Sardar takes off his cap & said:
I AM
.
.
.
SORRY!!:

A sardar spent 3 hours in a library reading a book, and then said, "So boring yaar... So many characters but no story"
Librarian said: "Sardarji this is a telephone directory"

One person to Sardar: I called you so many times, and your cell said "Switched off"
Sardar: Oye! Woh to meri hello tune hai !!

Sardar came to the exam with a plumber. Reason ? He had heard that the question paper was leaked !!

Ek chor ne sardar ka mobile leke bhag gaya... Sardar ne haste haste bola "Bhag le bhag, bevakoof, charger to mere paas hai !!"

An astronomer was watching the sky using his telescope. A sardar was observing him. Suddenly a star falls... Sardar shouts: "Kya nishana lagaya boss !!

Once Sardarji went to a hotel. But he took only tea and came back. Why ?
Because it was Kamath (Kha-mat) hotel !!

Sardar: Oye mera shampoo k sath wala free gift de

Shopkeeper:
Sardar g us k sath koi gift nhi hay

Sardar:
bakws na kr Shampoo pe likha ha
"DANDRUFF FREE"

Bv, begum aur wife mei kya farq hai ?

pathan: kuch khas nahi bus ye b baharat,india aur hindustan ki tarah ek he dushman k 3 naaam hain

1 Molvi aur Pathan ne Samandar ke kinary Board dekha jispe likha tha

"DOOBTY KO BACHANY WALY KO 500 ka INNAM"

MOLVI: Main jump lagata hun tum muje bachana is tarha 500 milenge hum fifty fifty ker lengy.

Ye keh kar Molvi ne jump laga di.

Pathan Khamoshi se daikhta raha to molvi ne chilla ke kaha: "Muje Tairna nhi aata tum mje bachate kyun nahi?

PATHAN: Tum ne board ke neeche nahi parha, neeche likha tha

"LAASH NIKALNE WALY KO 2000 KA INAAM"

2 Seat wala Jahaz QABRISTAN me Gir k tabah ho Gaya

Govt ne 1 pathan ko Investigation k liye bheja

Usne itla Di k
238 Lashen mil gai hen

Mazeed KHUDAI jari hY......