Saturday, October 20, 2012

Viaah

Airhostess: Sir ap kia lain gy?

pathan: Milk badam, kheer,pakora, tandori chicken wid naan & niswar

Airhostess: Sir tusi jahaaz ty aaye ho apny peo dy viaah ty nhe

3...

Molvi Pathan Se: Ghusal k Kitne Faraaiz Hain ?

Pathan: 3

Molvi: Shabash Kon Kon Se? . . . . .

Pathan: Shampoo, Saabun Aur Toliya.

Gadha

Pathan Ka Gadha Gum Ho Gaya,

Pathan Use Dhond'te Hue Ek Park Pohncha!!

Wahan Ek Larka Apni Girlfriend Ki Aankhon Me Dekhte Hue Keh Raha Tha...

Mujhe Tumhari Aankhon Me Sari Dunya Nazar Arahi Hai.

Pathan Chillaya Or Bola, Bhai Dekhna Zara Mera Gadha Nazar Arha Hai Kahin...:-)

5...

Girl to Pathan:Tm Khali Pait Ktna Apple Kha Skta Hy?

Pathan:4

Girl:Nhi! Sirf 1,Kiuki Usky Baad To Tmhara Pait Khali To Nhi Rahega Na

Pathan:Wah Yara Kamal Hogya!
Hm Apny Dost Ko b Batayega . .

Pathan,Dost Sy:Tm Khali Pait Ktna Apple Kha Skta Hy?

Dost:5

Pathan O Yara!Tu 4 Bolta To Itna Mazedar Joke Sunata! 

Salan

Teacher: 2 mai se 2 minus krdo to kya bacha?

Pathan: humko sawal samaj nhi aya

Teacher: tumare pas 2 rotiyan thi tmne unko kha lia ab kya bcha?


Pathan: salan...

TRY LETTER

Girl PATHAN se Jb ap k pas mobile hy or mere pas b mobile hy to ap ne LETTER kyo bheja?


Pathan: O humne tumko call kia tha us me baji boli plz TRY LETTER.

GHAR SAR PER

Pathan: Hum Bachpan may bohat taqatwar tha

Dost: Wo kaisay ?

Pathan: Hamara Maa kehta he Jab Hum Rota tha, to sara Ghar Sar pe otha leta tha.

Goal

1 pathen n other pathan were watchin a cricket match.

When Afridi hits a boundary.

1st pathan: Kya Goal mara.

2nd pathan : Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai

Charger

1 pathan ka mobile chori ho gaya.

Pathan bohat roya, rote rote hasne lga.

Kisi ne pocha hans kyu rhe ho.?

Pathan bola mobile to le gya pr charger to mere pas hy na..

pass d roti u moti

Queen Elizabeth & Pathan were havng candle light dinner.

Queen says- Pass d wine u divine!

"Pathan thinks-"how poetic"!

Pathan says-"pass d roti u moti":D

Waiting Room

Pessenger : Agr Sub Trains Late Hon To Time Table Ka Kya Faida ? . .


Pathan : Agr Sb Trains Waqt Per Hon To Waiting Room Ka Kya Faida . . 

Raat

America : Hum Chand per jakr jahaz banyge .

Pathan : hum soraj pr ja kr naswar banayga .

America : Tum jal jaega.

Pathan : Hum Pagal nhe hum raat ko jayga.

America Ka Baap

Pathan na apna bacha ka naam america rakh lea . Logo na pocha aap ka dushman ha america aap na apne bache ka naam america rakh lea .

Pathan : ne kaha hum dunya ko batana chahta ha ka pathan america ka baap hai.

Selling G.S.K.

Pathan Job K Liye London Jata Hai:

Officer: Tum Pakistan Main Kya Karobaar Kartay Thy?

Pathan: Selling G.S.K.

Officer: Ye Kya Hai?

Pathan: Garam Shakar Kandi.

Joke

Ek Pathan Bandooq Le Kar Machchli Ka Shikaar Karny Jungle Main Gaya. . . . . . . .


Jao Rey Tum Bhi Pathan Nikla, Joke To Uppar He Khatam Ho Gaya Tha.

3000

Pathan ki Taang me Gehra Cut lag Gaya:

Nurse: Is Mai 10 Tankey Lagenge.

Pathan: Kitna kharcha hoga?

Nurse: 3000

Pathan: Tanka Lagwana Hai. Karhai Nahi Karwani.

Camera Wala Hai?

Pathan: O Yara! Ye Bakra Kitne Ka Hai?

Aadmi: 28000 Ka.

Pathan Hairaan Ho Kar: .. .. .. .. .. Camera Wala Hai?

Chand

Pathan Public Toilet Gaya to Deewar Pe Likha Tha:

"Dunya Chand Pe Pohnch Gai Aur Tum Yahan Bethe Ho?"

Pathan Ne Neeche Likh Diya: "Bas Ye Kar K Hum Bhi Ja Raha Hai" 

1 Hathi


Sardar: Agar 1 Hathi Sui k Surakh Me Se Guzarne ki. Koshish Kar Raha Ho To Usy Rokne k Liye Kiya Karna Chaye?

Admi: Us Ki Dum Pe Girah Laga Do Phans Jaye Ga

Monday, October 15, 2012

Theatre

pathan : aj hum film dekhne gaya tha theatre tu waha tu sach much aik admi ko kata jaraha tha 

sardar : tum kaun se theatre gaye the ?

pathan : opration theatre

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Weather forecast

Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so.



He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

An Application for Divorce

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.



Judge asked : How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied : Ok! We’ll apply next year.

Name of your car

Sardar : What is the name of your car?



Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Wo ghar pe hain

Phone ki ganti baji. Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.

Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…

Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

Advancement comparision…

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.

Bill : I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.

Bill : Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.

Bill : More….More…More… Sardarji went upto 100 Feet.

Bill : So now, try to search something.

Sardarji : I got a Wire.

Bill : You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was in India.

Policeman and Banta

Banta meets a policeman on a way and asks, “Excuse me, officer, but did you know that my wife has had an affair?”

The policeman, surprised, “No! I didn’t know”

Banta breathed deeply, exclaiming, “So I’m not the last one to know after all”.

The Scooter Key

One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way…

Friend : Why are you pushing your scooter manually?

Sardarji : I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.

Friend : Is it! then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?

Sardarji : I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.

Sardaron wali baat!

Ek raat bijli chali gayi,

Sardar: oye kam se kam fan to chalao.

Sardani: kar di na sardaron wali baat fan on karenge to candle bujh jayegi.  

Thursday, October 11, 2012

English

A Couple Went To England
& Went To A Hotel

Man To Waiter:
Sir, Most Respectfully I Beg To Say That I M Ill & Cannot Come To School, Therefore Kindly Grant Me Tea For 2 Days.

Waiter Brings Tea

Wife: Wah Jee Tuwanu Te Furr Furr English Aandi Aey

Sardar : Hally Ty Ma Paani Wastey Thirsty Crow Nahi Sunai 

This is not fair

'Teacher: if 2 and 2 makes four how is 4 & 4?  

Sardar : This is not fair teacher, you always do the easy ones and leave the hard ones for me.'

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Sapna

Pathan: Mujhe Raat Bhar Neend Nahi Aai.

Sardar: Q?

Pathan: Kyo Ki Kal Raat Bhar Neend Mein Yahi Sapna Dekhta Raha K Main Jaag Raha Hun.

Kitni Lambi Umar Hai

Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya: Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?

Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.

Sardar: Lo Batao, Kitni Lambi Umar Hai. :-)

Barat

Sardar apni shadi pe udaas tha kisi ne poocha kya bat hai?


Sardar: Mere susral ne Barat pe thoray logon ka kaha hai. Pata nai Abba mujhe le jata hai ya nahi

Mooh Mai Pani Aa Gaya

Sir: Muhavre Ka Istemal Karo.

"Mun Me Pani Aana"

Sardar: 

Jaise Hi Maine Nal Ko Muh Laga K Nal Chalu Kiya,

Mere Mooh Mai Pani Aa Gaya.

NO ENTRY

Ek Aisa Sentense Batao Jis Mein
URDU , HINDI , PUNJABI Aur ENGLISH Ka Sahi Use Hua Ho . . . . . .



Sardar : ISHAQ DI GALI VICH NO ENTRY 

Bachpan ka ghussa

1 Pathan se kisi ne pocha k Khan Saab Kuch log Pathano pe itne sms q banate hain?

Khan Saab ne muskura kr kaha: Ye wo log hain jo Bachpan ka ghussa ab Utaar rahe hain.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

glass of water

Sardar Kid : Daddy someone is asking for donation for the swimming pool in the colony!

Sardar Dad: Give them a glass of water

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

A donkey kicked Sardar

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.

He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.

hoshyari

Sardar ko dost ne khane pe bhulaya, ghar pe tala laga hua tha aur likha hua tha “Bewakuf Banaya”.

Sardar ne hoshyari dikhayi niche likh diya“Hum Yahan Aye Hi Nahi The”.

A Pathan go to a store

A Pathan go to a store and sees a shining object.
He asks the clerk,
"What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The Pathan then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Pathan says, "I'll take it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Pathan boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"  
The Pathan replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

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