Sunday, March 31, 2013

Khansi

Pathan: tumhara ammi ka khansi kaisa hai
Dost : khansi to ruk gai hai lekin sans atak atak kar ati hai
Pathan : koi baat nhi Allah kare ga wo b ruk jaey ga.

General Knowledge Paper

Pathan ne general knowledge ka paper banaya
Sub bachay FAIL”

Q.1 CHINA kis mulk ka nam hai?
Q.2 14 August kis Date ko ata hai?
Q.3 Green Rang kis colour ka hota hai?
Q.4 Timater ko urdu me kiya Boltay hain?
Q.5 Quaid-e-Azam ki qabar Me kon Dafan hai?

Saturday, March 30, 2013

lower berth

Sardar: I havent slept all night in the train



Friend: Why?

Sardar: Got upper berth

Friend: Why didnt you exchange with the man in the lower berth

Sardar: because there was no one in the lower berth.So could't request.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Chori

Pathan Ne 1 Ghar me Chori Ki,
Sab Kch Lutne K Bad Jayenamaz B Utha Li.
Malik Bola Ye Jaynamaz To Chor Jao
Pathan: Khocha Hm Tum Ko Kia Kafir Nazar Ata hai

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

"SAME AS ABOVE"

Sardar was painting his room
.
Us ne Chat ko paint karkay
Diwaron par likha
"SAME AS ABOVE"

Mirror

Sardar ankhain band karky Ayena (mirror) ke samny khara hogia
.
Bewi ne pocha; Yai kia kar rahy ho?
.
Sardar: Daikh raha ke mai sotay howe kesa lagta hon

Mooh Main Pani Ana

Teacher: Es mohawary ko Jumlay mai estimal karo
"Mun mai pani ana"
.
Sardar Student: Jese hi mai ne nal ko mun se lag kar nal chalo kia tu mere mun mai pani agia

Pikka e

1 Sardar Party mai khana kha raha tha
Plate par Tissue Paper daikh kar socha ke shayed yai bhi koi khanay ki cheez hai
Jab wo khane laga tu………….
2nd Sardar: O na khayien, Pikka e!

Khawab

Sardar: Aaj raat mai nahi sowonga
Dost: kion??
.
Sardar: Kal khwab mai 1 Pathan se larayi howi, wo aaj banday le kea raha hai

combined study

A Sardar ji was doing 'Study' in front of a Mirror
.
Why????
.
Because 3 reasons
1- Sath Sath Revision bhi ho jaye
2- Apny oper nazar rahy
3 - He likes combined study

Biwi Ka Mobile

Sardar ko bar bar "I love you" ka msg araha tha
.
Dost ne pocha: Khair hai? Aaj tu boht "I love you" ke msgs arahe hain !
.
Sardar: O jee aaj mai galti se BEWI ka mobile laya hon eslie !

Driver

Sardar ki baiti usky driver ke sath bhaag gayi
Logon ne pocha: Sardar Hun ki karogy?
.
Sardar: Karna ki ae, hun gaddi aap chalawanga

100 Balance

Pathan

Ne Galti Se Ksi Ko 100 Ka Balance Bhej Dia.



Phir Usy Call Ki:

O Yara Hmara 100 Rupy Wapis Kro



Babloo: Hmare Pass To 80 Aya Hai



Pathan
: Ruko Hum 20 or Bhejta Hai.

Train

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .

1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!

Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua,
train kya cheez hai?

Monday, March 18, 2013

Zameen Aur Chand

Teacher:
Zmeen aur chand ka
apas main kia rishta hai?

Pathan:
bhai behan ka
Techer:
Wo kaisay?

Pathan:
Q k log chand ko mamu
Aur zameen ko maa kehtay hain.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Bomb

Police:Humein Ap k ghar ki talashi leni hy,pta chala hy k apke ghr main khatarnak Bomb hy.
.
.
.
Sardar:Khabar to pakki hy
magar aj woh Maikey gai hui hy

Biwi

Sardar ji;
Bhagwan mujhe dard de,Dukh de,tention de,mujhe barbad kar de,mere piche BHoot laga de,
Bhabwan;abe sale ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

"Lab Pe Aati Hai Dua Ban Ke Tamnna Meri,

Pathan Ke Pechy Churail Lag Gai...

Pathan Gabhra Kar Bhaga...


Churail* Bhi Us Ke Pechy Bhagi...

Pathan Bhagty Hue Duaain Yaad Karne Laga.

Dar Ki Waja Se Jab Koi Dua Yaad Na i To Wo Oonchi Aawaz Mein Bola....


"Lab Pe Aati Hai Dua Ban Ke Tamnna Meri,

Zindgi aj khatam gul khan teri.. !"

Friday, March 8, 2013

PM not AM

A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

passengers

Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

Postman

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....

Chicken or egg?

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

umbrella

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Facebook Fact...

Girls Pura din ghar me Bartan Manjati aur kapde sukhati hongi..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aur jab raat ko msg.. Karke pucho ke..
.
.
.
Pura din kaha thi.. ??
.
.
To reply aata hai...
'Kuch nhi ,was just hanging out wid frnds'..

Head & Shoulder

sardar shampo balon per lagane k bad apne kandhon per b laga raha tha

biwi : kandhon per kio laga rahe ho ?

sardar : yeh koi amm shampoo nahi hia Head & Shoulder hai jahil aurat

Sunday, March 3, 2013

FACEBOOk

Barbaaad karne Ke aur Bhi Tareeke The duniya me..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jaane kyun Mark Zuckerberg Ko FACEBOOk Ka khayal Hi Aaya
(‘,’)
<()>Khud To Kar Li Shadi..
_||_
Aur Hume Yahan LIKE LIKE Khelne Pe Laga Gaya

Gf and Bf chatting on facebook

Gf and Bf chatting on facebook:

Girl: Please dont go i have to talk to you little more

Boy: No i have to go

Girl: Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeee

Boy: No, my mom said if i wont go she will come downstairs and bash my head on keyboardfjaslkjk lsg adjgvvkasf vhfdsfhads;hfsdjhf sjk hfjsdfakj

i love you

pathan: i love you

lrki (gussy sy): meri joti ka size dekha hy..??

pathan: wah g wah .. setting hoi nai te farmayeshaan pehly shuro ..

5 Bajey

sardar kafi der sy ek lrki ko ghoor raha tha.

tang aa kr lrki ne hath sy LANAT ka ishara kia

sardar dosto sy: lo g, 5 bjy da time fix ho gia ...

Soup

1 sardar soup p raha tha

boy: sardar g, soup vich makhi aey.

sardar: fir ki ho gia, dil wada hona chahida, makhi ne kina p lena ..

Fitttay Muh

FACEBOOK. Status

Boy-hello friends kon-kon online
hai Let's chat..
.
After 30 min- ............... + - -
.
After 1 hr- ............... + - -...... .
After 2 hr- remove post..
.
.
.
.
Girl- Hiii
.
After 1 min-

1=hello ji.
2=hiiiii
3=hey .kaise ho dear.?
4=hi sweety
5= etne din kahaan the.?
6= hey you r very beautiful.
7= aap reply kiyo nhi krte.?
8= hello friend.aap kahaa se ho.?
9= please reply yaar.
10= hi friend.thanx for addng me
.
After 5 min- 30 comments
65likes
.
After 15 min- 96 comment 146
likes
.
FINALY GIRL REPLY. . .
Thanx all. :-D

 Fitttay Muh

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Dictation

A Pathan teacher gives Dictation test to students,
Last bench students: We are not able to hear you, Sir!
Pathan: Ok I`ll write the words on the board.

Wash Basin!

A pathan goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating, he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, `Khan Sahib, what are you doing?`
To this the pathan replies, `Can't you read? The board says, Wash Basin!`

80 Kg

Pathan went for an Interview.
After reaching the office door he said, `May I come in, Sir?`
Officer: Wait Please!
 Pathan: 80 Kg

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