Sardar : Ye New Mobile kab liya?

Pathan : Liya nahi, Apni Girlfriend ka utha liya.

Sardar : Wo Q?

Pathan : Wo Mujhy Roz kehti thi k Tum Mera Phone Q nahi Uthaty,

Aaj Moqa dekh k Me ny Utha hi liya....;-p :-D

Police Wala Pathan se : Tum Hum ko janta nahi hai, Hum Yahan k DSP hen.

.

Pathan : "Tum DSP hai to Hum GGW hai. 

Tameez se Baat kero Warna Acha nahi ho ga."

.

Police : I am very very Sorry Sir, Per Ye GGW kiya hota hai?

.

Pathan : 

"Gola Ganda Wala"..

Aik siyasat dan nay ana tha to road say tmam Rairhi walo ko hataya gaya 

per ek Pathan waheen khara raha. 

Ek police wala aya : chal khan rairhi hata. 

Pathan : Oye khocha! zara diyan say hum bi apnay elaqay ka mpw hai. 

Police wala : Sorry sir, (salute krta hay) but sir MPW kia hota hay? 

Pathan : O khana kharab Moong Phali Wala.

Pathan : Hum is Kamry me nahi rahy ga,

Hum ko Pagal samjha hai kiya?

Paisa Itna diya Aur Kamra Itna Chota sa..

.

Waiter : Akhrot Ki Aulad, 

Andar To Chal, Ye Lift Hai..

Pathano k Naamo k Falsafy bhi Ajeeb hoty hen..

Agar Achi family me Paida huwa to 

"Shahrukh Khan"

Jungle me huwa to

"Shair Khan"

Jaung me huwa to

"Kartoos Khan"

Germiyon me huwa to

"Sharbat Khan"

Choron k Ghar huwa to

"Wardat Khan"

Sahil Kinary huwa to

"Samandar Khan"

Garden me huwa to

"Gul Khan"

Abnormal huwa to

"Ajab Khan"

Ghussay wala huwa to

"Ghazab Khan"

Khofnak huwa to

"Hebat Khan"

Aur

Khany k Time Peda huwa to

"Daster Khan".

Ek Pathan Ek Larki ko Pasand kerta tha..

Bari Laraiyon aur Moushkilon k baad jab Pathan ki Shadi 

Us ki Pasand se Ho gai to,

Rukhsati k Waqt Larki aur Us ki Maa

Galay lag ker Rony lagy..

Pathan bhi Unhen dekh ker Rony lag gaya Aur

Bohat Emotional ho ker Bola :

.

"Gul Rukh!

Hum sab kuch Bardasht ker sakta hai,

per Tumhari Aankhon me Aansu nahi.

Tum Apny Maa Baap k Sath Khush raho,

Hum Tumhen Talaq deta hai,

Talaq, Talaq, Talaq....:-(

.

O Teri Khair,

Pathan to Pathan,

Us ki Mohabbat bhi Pathan..

1 Pathan Dukaan Walay se :

Aur Janab, Kese Ho??

Dukaan Wala : Bas Aapki Dua Chahiye.

Pathan : Wo Hum Tum ko nahi de ga.

Dukan Wala : Magar Q ??

Pathan : O Khabees ka Bacha!

Dua Hamara Beti hai.

Pathan Bike per ja raha tha k 1 Larki ko Bike Maar di..

Larki : HORN nahi Maar sakty thy kiya??

?

Pathan : Puri Bike to Maar di,

Ab Horn Alag se Nikal ker Maarun kiya??.

Ek Pathan ka Khota apni jaga se hil nahi raha tha..

Pathan ny us ko Goli maar di..

Dost : Q Mara??

Pathan : Zaat da Khota te Zid Zardari wali.

Shadi ki Taqreeb me Pathan aur Punjabi ek sath Khany ki Table per bethy huwe thy..

Khana laya gaya, Chawal per Pura "Murgh' rakha huwa tha, aur Murgha Punjabi ki Taraf para huwa tha.

Pathan ny Dish ko Pher ker Murgha Apni Taraf ker liya..

Punjabi Bola " O Khan Sahab, Ye kiya ker diya??

?

Pathan : O Kaafir ka Bacha, Murgh ka Taang "Qiblay" ki Taraf tha...

Pathan ki Modern Wife ny Usay Office jaty Waqt Piyar se Kaha:

See U In The Evening..:)

.

.

Pathan : Me bhi Tujhy Dekh lunga Kameeni,

Dhamki Apny Baap ko Dena.

1 Pathan Aaina dekh ker Sochny laga:

"Yara Is ko kahin dekha hai"

Thori Dair sochny k baad,,

Ooo Lakh di Lanat.!

YeH to Wohi hai Jo Us Din Mere Sath Baal Katwa raha tha.

Sardar : Ye Bakra Q Zibah kiya??

Pathan : Hum ny Mannat manga tha wo pura ho gaya.

Sardar : Kis Baat ki Mannat.

Pathan : Hamara Murgi Gum huwa tha, Wo aaj Mil gaya hai

Pathan F-16 land ker k bahir nikla aur Staff se kehny laga :

"Yara, Aaj Hum ny India k 2 Jahaz aur 3 Tank tabah ker diye hen"

.

.

Staff me se 1 Foji Bola : Very Good, Bas 1 Ghalti ho gai Aap se.

Pathan : Wo Kiya??

?

Foji : 

"Aap ny Jahaz bhi India me hi Land ker diya hai"...

8, 9 Pathan Tash Khel rahy thy k Ploice ki Gari aa gai;

1 Pathan Bhaag ker Police ki Gari me Beth gaya.

Police Wala : Hum Tum Logon ko Pakarny aaye aur Tum Apny Aap Gari me Q Beth gaye?

?

Pathan : 

Last Time Jab Hum Pakry gaye thy to 

Mujhy Gari me Khary ho ker Jana Para Tha....

Teacher : Shalwar k Naray ko English me kiya kehty hen??

?

Student : P.H.D

Teacher : Is ka kiya Matlab hai??

Student :

Pajama Holding Divice...

Ek Pathan Jahaz me kisi Aur ki Seat per Beth gaya..!

2nd Admi: Bhai Ye Seat Meri hai.

Pathan: Me Pehly Betha hun, Nahi Uthun ga.

Sab Logon ny Koshish ker li Magar Wo nahi Utha..

Phir

Qareeb Betha Karachi ka Larka Pathan k Kaan me Kuch Bola Aur Wo uth ker Apni Seat per Chala gaya..

Air Hostess: Aap ny kiya kaha??

?

Larka : 

Me ny Kaha Ye Seat Dubai nahi Lahore ja rahi hai,

Dubai Wali Seat Dusri Hai.

Pathan : Hum ko Shadi per Susral se BMW mila hai.

Dost : Lekin Me ny to Tumhary Ghar koi Car nahi Dekhi.

Pathan : Oye Pagal,

BMW ka Matlab hai,

"Bohat Moti Wife"..

Judge: why r u arrested?

Sardar: for shopping early?

Judge: well, that’s not a crime,

anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: before opening the shop.

Sardar Wife: - Jab aap DESI pikar aate hai.. tab muje PAARO kehte hai

- Jab ENGLISH pikar aate hai.. tab muje DARLING kehte ho

- Lekin aaj aapne muje CHUDHAIL aur BHOOTNI ku kaha

Sardar : Aaj SPRITE pikar aya hoon, ishliye Sidhi baat no BAKWAAS!!

Sardar: Kal Tumhare Ghar Gaya Tha....Mujhe Nahi Lagta Hamari Shadi Hogi..!

GF: Kyu..?? Papa Se Mile??

Sardar: Nahi.. Tumhari Behen Se Mila..

Solid Lagti Hai.

Sardar Ne Bus Me Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya.

Larki- Tumhare Ghar Me Maa Behen Nahi He Kya??

Sardar- Kya Pata Me To Subah Se Ghar Se Bahar Hu..

Ek Baar SaRDAR New Year ke din Circus Dekhne Jata Hai.

Toh Circus Mein LaRki Ne Sher Ko Kiss Kiya.

Ring Master: Aap Mein Se Koi Yeh Kaam Kar Sakta Hai?

SaRDAR: Main Aata Hoon Na,

Par Pehle Iss Sher Ko Peeche Karo.

Sardar went to a restaurant in China.

Sardar: Waiter, there's cockroach in my salad.

Waiter: Please don't shout, sir. Or else the other customers will be asking for one, too!

SARDAR:- Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.

Pathan :- Kaise ?

SARDAR:- Yar kal mai ghar gaya to wo bathtub

mai bhi security guard ke sath bethi thi!!

SaRDAR Helmet Pehen Ke Bahar Nikla;

To Police Ne Kaha Nikaal 50 Rs.

Santa-Abe Maine Helmet Pehni To Hun ?

Police-Abe, Par Scooter Kaha Hai ?

Santa waz riding on a horse,

He jumpd d red light and a cop whistls

Santa lifts d tail of horse and says,

Lay Karlay NumbEr Note

Sardar g: Ma E-Mail bnana hoon. Sardar, Sardar g, Sardar123, Sardar abc Koe b nahi mil raha.

Sardar g Frnd : Tum “Akalmand_Sardar” try karo 100% mil jaye ga.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many

coins I have in my pocket?

Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?

Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them 

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.

Friend: Y?

Sardar: Got upper birth.

Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?

Sardar: oye, there was nobody

2 exchange in the lower birth.. 

Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?

Pappu: Amritsar.

Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.

Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.

Teacher: Yes, go ahead.

Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Banto?

Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?

Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a Little SaRDAR spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Sardarji Ne A.C Lgwaya..

1 Shakhs Ne Pucha:

Apko To Sardi Bahut Lagti Ha?

Sardar:

.

.

.

Tabhi to Ulta Lgwaya Ha,Garam Hawa Andar Or Thandi Hawa Bahar Jati Ha.

A MAN TO SArdar-- UR FRND IS KISSING UR WIFE IN UR HOME,

HE RUSHES TO HIS HOME

AND COME WITH IN HALF AN HOUR N

SLAPPED ThAT MAN N SAID--

HE WAS NOT MY FRieND..

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?

Sardar replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!

SaRDAR k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:

Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to 

SaRDAR ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?

SaRDAR : sirf yehi apka bacha hai.

SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.

Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

A tiger killed a sardarji in Zoo.

A man asked why did u only killed sardarji in crowd?

Tiger: Aur kya karta. saala kab se keh rha tha

"itni badi billi, itni bari billi".

Sardar: What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.

Sardar : Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol..

Sardarji exam me ak larki se nakal kar rhe the

Exminar ne sardar ko utha kr door bitha dia

Usne jawab k end me likha

Jawab ka baki hissa Jiya k paper mAIN hai..

 

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile, 

1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain. 

2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to? 

1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha

. 

Sardar 2 doctor: Mujhe 1 problem hai 

Dr: Kya? 

Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta 

Dr: aisa kab hota hai? 

Sardar: Phone karte waqt

English Teacher:

"Wo larki sab larkon se hans kar baat karti hai."

Batao iss sentence main larki kya hai??

Sardar: "Sir larki 2 number hai....

Girl: Mujhe Ek Aisa Husband Chahiye Jo Achi Achi Baatein Kare

Hansi Mazaq Kare Or Raton Ko Muje songs Sunaye

Sardar: Tusi Husbnd nu maro goli

FM Radio Le Lo.

Sardar ne ik chote qad ki larki se shadi ki.

Kisi ne pucha tum ne aisa kiyun kia?

SARDAR: mere walid ne kaha k, Musibat jitni chhoti ho utna acha hai…

FrEind : Tumhari Wife Gum Hui Hy Tum ne Police Ko Q Nai Bataya.

SArdarji : Q K Jb Mera Scooter Gum Huwa Tha,

To Police Walo Ne 15-20 Din CHALA k wapis kia tha...

A Sardar was drawing money from ATM, Sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen your password.”

Its 4 asterisks (****).

The first Sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! You are wrong, Its “1258″.

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto!

Banta asks : Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?

Santa : Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’.

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.

Sardar says, “I want my $20 million.”

The man replied, “No, Sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 days.”

Sardar said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.”

Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 days.

Sardar furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! if you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!”

A SARDAR received an invitation, to a party

which said “Black Tie Only”!!

When he went to the party he was surprised to

find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts

as well !!!!

Why does Pathan always smile during lightning storms? 

They think their picture is being taken.

Aik pathan betha aeroplane main air hostess boli 

sir what u want pathan bola mujhe naswaar chaheya 

air hostess boli sir idher naswaar nahi milta hai 

pathan bola aeroplane ko lahore main roko main 

naswaar lekar aata hoon

Aik pathan sadar bazar mein jaraha hota he to 

achanak zameen pe haath lagata he aur phir jeb me 

hath rakh leta he 

aik admi dryaft karta he to wo 

kehta he yar karachi ka ajeeb log he aese thokta 

he jese chawani athani hota he...

Doctor says to pathan: Appka aur aapki biwi ka 

blood group ek hi hai? 

Pathan: Hoga zaror hoga; 25 

saal se hamara koon peeta HAI.

How do you make a Pathan laugh on "Saturday"? 

Tell him "a joke on Tuesday

Gadhay R Pathan ky bachay mein kia common hota hy? 

Answer: - Dono baray ho kr transport ka kaam 

kartay hain.

Jail Main Pathaan say kisee nay poocha: 

Tum say aisee kiya galtee ho gaee jou tum Jail

mein ho? 

Pathaan: Mai nay Bank Lootaa. 

or 

Paisay waheen Ginaney baith gayaa.

Teacher: "Sara sub larkon se baat karti hai" 

Batao is sentence mein Sara kya hai?? 

Pathan Student: Sir Sara Be-Gairat hai...

Pathan was Kissing a Girl inside a Car 

Police Man:Kya kar rahe ho? 

Pathan:Nazar nahi aa raha? 

Police Man: Mera number kab aaye ga? 

Pathan: Is larki ke bad.

Cow per bethey ek pathan ko 

TRAFFIC-POLICE ne rok kar kaha 

k aapka HELMET nhi hai? 

Chalan hoga 

Pathan: Dhiyan se dekh Nechey andhay 

four Wheeler Hay

Pathan proposed his boss daughter. 

Boss: Tumhari salary itni bhi nahi hai ke tum use 

Toilet Paper dila sako. 

Pathan: Yar agar woh itni potty karti hai to rehne 

do....

Pathan: I'll climb tallest mount swim d deepest 

ocean, walk on hot coal barefoot. Just 4 u. 

Girl: So Sweet! Can u come 2 meet me? 

Pathan: Not now! Abi ammi nai aany dengi.

Pathan ny Puri Duniya se 1 Sawal kiya k

4 ko 5 k Beech me Likh ker Dikhao..

Chinese ny kaha : Joke.

Japanese : Impossible.

USA : Wrong Question.

Indian Foolish Question.

Pathan Bola : Bohat Asan hai.

Us ny Likh ker Dikha Diya,

Look

.

F(IV)E ...

World Shocked,

Pathan Rocked..

Sardar : Mujh se Wada ker k Teri Bivi ki

pehli Kiss me lun ga..

Pathan : Wada, Per hamara bhi Ek Shart hai.

Sardar : Bol??

Pathan ; Hum Shadi Teri Behan se kere ga....

Pathan Intoduces His Family...

Ye hai Hamara BIVI

"GOOGLE BANO"

Ek Sawal pucho, 10 Jawab deta hai..

Ye hai Hamara BETA

"FACEBOOK KHAN" 

Ghar ki Batein Puray Muhally ko bata deta hai..

Ye hai Hamara BETI

"TWITTER GUL"

Sara Muhalla isy Folow kerta hai..

Aur

Ye Hamara AMMA hai

"SMART PHONE"

Sara Din Chalta hai aur 

Raat hoty hi Band ho jata hai...

Ek Pathan ko Gadhay ny Laat Maar di,,

Pathan ko Ghussa Aaya,,

Wo Utha aur 

Gadhay ko 4, 5 Laaten Maarr ker bola :

Aainda Apny Baap se Mazaq Mat Kerna...

Teacher : Define Newton's Law?

Sardar : Poora nahi ata, aakhir se yaad hai.

Teacher : Chalo aakhir se suna do..

.

.

.

Sardar : And This is Called "Newton's Law"

Judge : Is Sardar K Dono Kaan kaat do..

Sardar : Nahi me Andha ho jaaun ga..

Judge : Kaan katny se Andhy kese ho jaao gy??

Sardar : Chashma Tere Piyo de Kaan te Lawan ga.....

A Sardar was giving Medical Entry Test:

He Gave Definations as Follows:

1- ANTI BODY

A- Against Every Body.

2- ARTERY

A- Study of Fine Arts Painting.

3- CARDIOLOGY

A- Advance Study of Playing Cards.

4- CT Scan

A- Scanning for Lost Whistle (Cee Tee).

5- COMA

A- Punctuation Mark.

6- BACTERIA

A- Back Door of Cafeteria...:-)

Ek Larki sardar se Takraai aur boli :

"I am sorry"

Sardar : I am Diljeet Singh.. Nice to meet u Miss Sorry...:-)

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage. He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa? Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua? sardar:3 months. Wife: or meri shadi ko? Sardar: 3 months Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad? Sardar:3 month. Wife: total kitne hue? Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle;->

Sardarji was asked,

what is a adult joke?

Reply came

any joke which is eighteen years old.

Sardar: Bhagwan Chandigarh nu America di capital bana de. Plz plz plz…

Banta: Par kyun???

Sardar: Kyunki main paper vich ye hi likh aaya hun…..

SARDAR MBBS

After finishing his MBBS, Dr. SaRDAR starts his Own 

practice..

He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.

Finally he said Battery is Ok.

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???

A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?

Guess what...

To avoid side effects!!!

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.

Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking !!!

Filmi life aur Asli life me kya Farq hai?

Sardar:Film me bahut mushkilon k bad shadi hoti hai. 

Asli life me shadi k bad bahut mushkil hoti hai.

Sardar apna sar pani me duba rha tha..

Biwi-kya kar rahe ho?

Sarder-Dimag chalta nahi he sala..

..

Dekh rha hu kahi Puncher to nhi?

Sardar: Dukh to jivan ka sathi hai aur sukh to ata-jata hai...

Pathan : Sahi baat hai,meri BIWI hamesha sath hi rahti hai,aur meri sali aati-jati hai...

5 sardars were caught in a RAPE CASE,

They were called for an Identification parade.

When the girl arrived,all SARDARS shouted together.."YEHI THI !!!

Sardar got promotion in office as manager.

To give surprise to his wife , he telephoned her & said 

"Tonight u r going to sleep with the manager"

Sardar finds cigarette box in daughter's room.

Oh my God!! she smokes

Then finds whisky,

Oh my God!! she drinks

Then he saw a boy.

Thank God!! Its all his

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Sardar: Control yourself. Dont cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Bacha Ghar Se Maar Kha kr,

Gusse Me School Ja Raha Tha

Ek Sardar Ne Pucha

Beta Parhte Ho?

Bacha: Nhi School Ki Dress Pehen K

Tere Baap K Barat Mai Ja Raha Hon.

Larki Deo laga ke Bus pe charhi, 

Sardar ne comment paas kiya Aj kal Phenyl ka Use zyada hota hai'

Larki boli: 'phir bhi makkhiyan pichha nhi chhorte'

son:"dady what is difference between confidence & secret"?

dad:" u r my son that is confidence .

ur friend is also is my son that is secret