Sunday, April 5, 2015

Football

Father: Pappu, tumhare teacher bol rahe the ki kal tumne school ka lecture bunk kar dia cricket khelne ke liye...
Pappu: Woh ekdum jhuth bol rahe hai.....mein cricket nahin football khel raha tha!

You ask lot of questions

Father: Pappu my son, you sure do ask a lot of questions. I would like to know what would have happened if I had asked as many questions when I was a boy.
Pappu: Perhaps, you would have been able to answer some of mine!

Pappu aur traffic police


Traffic police gari chalane wale Pappu ko rokta hai.
Traffic police: Tum itne chhote bachche hokar gari chala rahe ho aur woh bhi itne tez speed par.
Pappu: Jee haan, mein bahut tez gari chala raha tha. Lekin mein to tumhari test le raha tha yeh dekhne ke liye ki kaam karte waqt tumhara dhyan rehta hai ki nahi!

Cause and effect

Teacher: Bacho aaj hamne seekha 'cause and effect'. Cause and effect ka koi example de sakta hai?
Pappu: Sir, mein jees school mein admission leta hoon woh ek 'cause' hai. Aur mere wajah se teachers school chhor kr bhag jtey hain yeh uska 'effect hai...

3,000 miles !

Teacher: What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ? 
Pappu: About 3,000 miles !

Worries are over

Pappu: 'Mummy,' shouted Pappu from the kitchen, 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?'
Mother: 'Yes dear, what about it ?'
Pappu: 'Well your worries are over.'

School outing

Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, Pappu ?
Pappu: Yes, and we are going again tomorrow.
Mother: Really ? Why's that ?
Pappu: To try and find the kids we left behind.

Maths teacher Vs Pappu

Maths Teacher: To bachcho, mere paas 15 apples hai. Maine 8 apples Ramesh ko diye aur 7 apples Suresh ko diye. To batao maine kya kiya?
Pappu: Partiality!

80


English Teacher: Can you spell '80' ?
Pappu: Why not sir. It is very easy. A-T.

Frustrated teacher and Pappu

Teacher (angrily): Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?
Pappu: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

My Aunt

Teacher: Which is the biggest animal in the jungle?
Pappu: My Aunt.
Teachaer: No, it's an elephant.
Pappu: Then you obviously haven't met my Aunt.

Geography

Geography Teacher: It is clear that you haven't studied your geography properly. What is your excuse now?
Pappu: Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!

Water Fall

Mother: Pappu, why did you throw the glass of water out of the window?
Pappu: I wanted to see a water-fall!

Seconds

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Pappu: 12.
Teacher: Tell me how you idiot.
Pappu: 2nd January, 2nd February...!

Candies and Pappu

Mother: Why are you stuffing all that candies into your mouth?
Pappu: Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears.

Pappu's broken computer

Pappu: Mummy, Mummy, Dad has broken my computer!
Mummy: How did he do that?
Pappu: I dropped it on his head.

Tell the difference

Teacher: What is the difference between an American student and an English student ?
Pappu: About 3000 miles !

Train

Pinki: Bakbak karnewala teacher aur train mein kya fark hai?
Pappu: Train to stop par rukti hai magar aisa teacher to lecture khatm hone ke baad hi rukta hai.

Kaan

Ek baar Class Teacher badmash Pappu ka kaan pakar kar usse Principal ke office mein leke gaye.
Principal: Yeh kya? Tumne iska kaan kyon pakra hai?
Pappu (khush hokar): Dekhona sir, aap hi kuch boliye!
Principal: Meri baat to puri suno. Mein kah raha hoon ki iss badmash ka ek kaan nahin balkey dono kaan pakarne chahiye the!!!

Janwar

Teacher (gussese): Pappu, tumhari itni himmat ki tum ek kutte ko apne sath classroom mein lekar aaye! Tumhe pata nahin ki koi bhi janwar ko class mein ijaajat nahin hai.
Pappu: Sir, to phir aapko kisne ijjazat de di?!

Teacher

Maths teacher: How much is 1+1 = ?
Pappu: Sir, aap ko itna bhi nahin pata? Kisne aapko teacher banaya!

'Eiffel Tower'

Teacher: Pappu, batao. 'Eiffel Tower' kidhar hai?
Pappu: TV mein. Maine kal hi tv pe dekha.
Teacher: Kambakht. Mein city ki baat kar raha hoon...city ki. Woh 'paris' mein hai.
Pappu: Sorry sir.
Teacher: Ab batao ki 'niagara falls' kidhar hai?
Pappu: Mere mobile mein. Dekho yeh photo!
Teacher: Arey badmash. Mein country ki baat kar raha hoon country ki.
Pappu: Sorry sir.
Teacher: Yeh batao ki 'statue of liberty' kidhar hai? Aur iska jawab theek se dena.
Pappu: Paani mein! 

Pappu

Teacher: Pappu, tune ek bhi sawal ka jawab theek se nahin diya. Agar yeh bhi sawal ka jawab tune theek se nahin diya to mein tujhe class se bahar nikal doonga.
Pappu turant uthkar bahar jaane laga!!!

The sausage!

Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pappu: The sausage!

What is 2 plus 2

Teacher: What is 2 and 2
Pappu: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pappu: Good ?, that's perfect.

'Goggle' aur 'Google'

English teacher: Pappu, chalo batao ki 'Goggle' aur 'Google' mein kya fark hai?
Pappu: Fark to mein nahin jaanta lekin ek baat jaroor bata sakta hoon.
English teacher: Woh kya?
Pappu: Dono mein se ek spelling mistake hai!!

Pappu takes on Napoleon Bonaparte

History teacher: Bachcho, tum sabko pata hai kya ki Napoleon Bonaparte ke dictionary mein 'impossible' shabd hi nahi tha.
Pappu: Jaane do na sir. Printing mistake hogi!

Judgmental

English Teacher: Pappu, chalo tum batao ki 'judgmental' ka kya matlab hai?
Pappu: Mental judge!

Pareshan teacher aur Pappu

Class teacher pareshan hokar Pappu ki shikayat principal se karne jate hai.
Class Teacher: Sir yeh Pappu ka kuch karo. Din badin bahut badmash hote ja raha hai woh. Pappu ko mein aur nahin jhel sakta. Ab action lene ka waqt aa gaya hai.
Principal: To bolo, kya action lu?
Teacher: Mera tabadala karva do!

Pappu challenges teacher

Teacher: At the beginning of the world, there were only two humans. One is Adam and the other is Eve.
Pappu: Are you sure sir?
Teacher: Yes.
Pappu: I think you were also present there at the beginning of the world sir.
Sir: Of course not Pappu.
Pappu: Then how could you dare to tell that there were only two humans... sir.!!

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