Sardar : Ye New Mobile kab liya?

Pathan : Liya nahi, Apni Girlfriend ka utha liya.

Sardar : Wo Q?

Pathan : Wo Mujhy Roz kehti thi k Tum Mera Phone Q nahi Uthaty,

Aaj Moqa dekh k Me ny Utha hi liya....;-p :-D

Police Wala Pathan se : Tum Hum ko janta nahi hai, Hum Yahan k DSP hen.

.

Pathan : "Tum DSP hai to Hum GGW hai. 

Tameez se Baat kero Warna Acha nahi ho ga."

.

Police : I am very very Sorry Sir, Per Ye GGW kiya hota hai?

.

Pathan : 

"Gola Ganda Wala"..

Aik siyasat dan nay ana tha to road say tmam Rairhi walo ko hataya gaya 

per ek Pathan waheen khara raha. 

Ek police wala aya : chal khan rairhi hata. 

Pathan : Oye khocha! zara diyan say hum bi apnay elaqay ka mpw hai. 

Police wala : Sorry sir, (salute krta hay) but sir MPW kia hota hay? 

Pathan : O khana kharab Moong Phali Wala.

Pathan : Hum is Kamry me nahi rahy ga,

Hum ko Pagal samjha hai kiya?

Paisa Itna diya Aur Kamra Itna Chota sa..

.

Waiter : Akhrot Ki Aulad, 

Andar To Chal, Ye Lift Hai..

Pathano k Naamo k Falsafy bhi Ajeeb hoty hen..

Agar Achi family me Paida huwa to 

"Shahrukh Khan"

Jungle me huwa to

"Shair Khan"

Jaung me huwa to

"Kartoos Khan"

Germiyon me huwa to

"Sharbat Khan"

Choron k Ghar huwa to

"Wardat Khan"

Sahil Kinary huwa to

"Samandar Khan"

Garden me huwa to

"Gul Khan"

Abnormal huwa to

"Ajab Khan"

Ghussay wala huwa to

"Ghazab Khan"

Khofnak huwa to

"Hebat Khan"

Aur

Khany k Time Peda huwa to

"Daster Khan".

Ek Pathan Ek Larki ko Pasand kerta tha..

Bari Laraiyon aur Moushkilon k baad jab Pathan ki Shadi 

Us ki Pasand se Ho gai to,

Rukhsati k Waqt Larki aur Us ki Maa

Galay lag ker Rony lagy..

Pathan bhi Unhen dekh ker Rony lag gaya Aur

Bohat Emotional ho ker Bola :

.

"Gul Rukh!

Hum sab kuch Bardasht ker sakta hai,

per Tumhari Aankhon me Aansu nahi.

Tum Apny Maa Baap k Sath Khush raho,

Hum Tumhen Talaq deta hai,

Talaq, Talaq, Talaq....:-(

.

O Teri Khair,

Pathan to Pathan,

Us ki Mohabbat bhi Pathan..

1 Pathan Dukaan Walay se :

Aur Janab, Kese Ho??

Dukaan Wala : Bas Aapki Dua Chahiye.

Pathan : Wo Hum Tum ko nahi de ga.

Dukan Wala : Magar Q ??

Pathan : O Khabees ka Bacha!

Dua Hamara Beti hai.

Pathan Bike per ja raha tha k 1 Larki ko Bike Maar di..

Larki : HORN nahi Maar sakty thy kiya??

?

Pathan : Puri Bike to Maar di,

Ab Horn Alag se Nikal ker Maarun kiya??.

Ek Pathan ka Khota apni jaga se hil nahi raha tha..

Pathan ny us ko Goli maar di..

Dost : Q Mara??

Pathan : Zaat da Khota te Zid Zardari wali.

Shadi ki Taqreeb me Pathan aur Punjabi ek sath Khany ki Table per bethy huwe thy..

Khana laya gaya, Chawal per Pura "Murgh' rakha huwa tha, aur Murgha Punjabi ki Taraf para huwa tha.

Pathan ny Dish ko Pher ker Murgha Apni Taraf ker liya..

Punjabi Bola " O Khan Sahab, Ye kiya ker diya??

?

Pathan : O Kaafir ka Bacha, Murgh ka Taang "Qiblay" ki Taraf tha...

Pathan ki Modern Wife ny Usay Office jaty Waqt Piyar se Kaha:

See U In The Evening..:)

.

.

Pathan : Me bhi Tujhy Dekh lunga Kameeni,

Dhamki Apny Baap ko Dena.

1 Pathan Aaina dekh ker Sochny laga:

"Yara Is ko kahin dekha hai"

Thori Dair sochny k baad,,

Ooo Lakh di Lanat.!

YeH to Wohi hai Jo Us Din Mere Sath Baal Katwa raha tha.

Sardar : Ye Bakra Q Zibah kiya??

Pathan : Hum ny Mannat manga tha wo pura ho gaya.

Sardar : Kis Baat ki Mannat.

Pathan : Hamara Murgi Gum huwa tha, Wo aaj Mil gaya hai

Pathan F-16 land ker k bahir nikla aur Staff se kehny laga :

"Yara, Aaj Hum ny India k 2 Jahaz aur 3 Tank tabah ker diye hen"

.

.

Staff me se 1 Foji Bola : Very Good, Bas 1 Ghalti ho gai Aap se.

Pathan : Wo Kiya??

?

Foji : 

"Aap ny Jahaz bhi India me hi Land ker diya hai"...

8, 9 Pathan Tash Khel rahy thy k Ploice ki Gari aa gai;

1 Pathan Bhaag ker Police ki Gari me Beth gaya.

Police Wala : Hum Tum Logon ko Pakarny aaye aur Tum Apny Aap Gari me Q Beth gaye?

?

Pathan : 

Last Time Jab Hum Pakry gaye thy to 

Mujhy Gari me Khary ho ker Jana Para Tha....

Teacher : Shalwar k Naray ko English me kiya kehty hen??

?

Student : P.H.D

Teacher : Is ka kiya Matlab hai??

Student :

Pajama Holding Divice...

Ek Pathan Jahaz me kisi Aur ki Seat per Beth gaya..!

2nd Admi: Bhai Ye Seat Meri hai.

Pathan: Me Pehly Betha hun, Nahi Uthun ga.

Sab Logon ny Koshish ker li Magar Wo nahi Utha..

Phir

Qareeb Betha Karachi ka Larka Pathan k Kaan me Kuch Bola Aur Wo uth ker Apni Seat per Chala gaya..

Air Hostess: Aap ny kiya kaha??

?

Larka : 

Me ny Kaha Ye Seat Dubai nahi Lahore ja rahi hai,

Dubai Wali Seat Dusri Hai.

Pathan : Hum ko Shadi per Susral se BMW mila hai.

Dost : Lekin Me ny to Tumhary Ghar koi Car nahi Dekhi.

Pathan : Oye Pagal,

BMW ka Matlab hai,

"Bohat Moti Wife"..

Judge: why r u arrested?

Sardar: for shopping early?

Judge: well, that’s not a crime,

anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: before opening the shop.

Sardar Wife: - Jab aap DESI pikar aate hai.. tab muje PAARO kehte hai

- Jab ENGLISH pikar aate hai.. tab muje DARLING kehte ho

- Lekin aaj aapne muje CHUDHAIL aur BHOOTNI ku kaha

Sardar : Aaj SPRITE pikar aya hoon, ishliye Sidhi baat no BAKWAAS!!

Sardar: Kal Tumhare Ghar Gaya Tha....Mujhe Nahi Lagta Hamari Shadi Hogi..!

GF: Kyu..?? Papa Se Mile??

Sardar: Nahi.. Tumhari Behen Se Mila..

Solid Lagti Hai.

Sardar Ne Bus Me Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya.

Larki- Tumhare Ghar Me Maa Behen Nahi He Kya??

Sardar- Kya Pata Me To Subah Se Ghar Se Bahar Hu..

Ek Baar SaRDAR New Year ke din Circus Dekhne Jata Hai.

Toh Circus Mein LaRki Ne Sher Ko Kiss Kiya.

Ring Master: Aap Mein Se Koi Yeh Kaam Kar Sakta Hai?

SaRDAR: Main Aata Hoon Na,

Par Pehle Iss Sher Ko Peeche Karo.

Sardar went to a restaurant in China.

Sardar: Waiter, there's cockroach in my salad.

Waiter: Please don't shout, sir. Or else the other customers will be asking for one, too!

SARDAR:- Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.

Pathan :- Kaise ?

SARDAR:- Yar kal mai ghar gaya to wo bathtub

mai bhi security guard ke sath bethi thi!!

SaRDAR Helmet Pehen Ke Bahar Nikla;

To Police Ne Kaha Nikaal 50 Rs.

Santa-Abe Maine Helmet Pehni To Hun ?

Police-Abe, Par Scooter Kaha Hai ?

Santa waz riding on a horse,

He jumpd d red light and a cop whistls

Santa lifts d tail of horse and says,

Lay Karlay NumbEr Note

Sardar g: Ma E-Mail bnana hoon. Sardar, Sardar g, Sardar123, Sardar abc Koe b nahi mil raha.

Sardar g Frnd : Tum “Akalmand_Sardar” try karo 100% mil jaye ga.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many

coins I have in my pocket?

Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?

Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them 

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.

Friend: Y?

Sardar: Got upper birth.

Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?

Sardar: oye, there was nobody

2 exchange in the lower birth.. 

Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?

Pappu: Amritsar.

Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.

Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.

Teacher: Yes, go ahead.

Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Banto?

Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?

Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.