Why is Facebook like Jail? "You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"

Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

Ek Baray Miyan ki Toyota Corrola ek Prado se takra gai.

Jis main 4 Pathan Bhai sawar thay.

Charon Pathan bhai ghussay main Prado se bahar nikal kar baray miyan par chillany lagy.

Aur abhi unko marnay he lagy thy k baray miyan ne masoom soorat bana kar bola.

Aap 4 jawan log aur main akela kamzor sa boorha insaan...

Ye to sarasar na insaafi ho jaegi...

Bara Pathan bhai Akram Khan Bola: Gul Khan aur Ghaffar Khan tum dono uncle ki tarah se larro.

Barray Miyan: Phir hum 3 log aur aap 2 ye bhi na insaafi hai.

Ye sun kar chotha bhai Kareem Khan aagy barhta hai aur barray miyan k kandhay par hath rakh kar unse bolta hai.

Uncle aap fikar na karo.

Apny ghar jao sukoon se.

Hum Inko Dekh Lega.

Sardar: O Yaar, Meri Teacher Bolti hai,

Bhains ka Doodh Peeny se Dimagh Bohat Tez Ho jata Hai.

Pathan: Wo Jhoot Bolta Hai,

Agar Aisa Hota to Bhains ka Apna Bacha

Doctor Ya Engineer Hota.

Pathan Ka Bacha: Abbu Hum Ko "BAAJA" Dilao

Pathan: Nahi Tum Sab ko Tang Karega.

Bacha: Nahi Abbu, Khuda Ka Qasam,

Jab Sab So Jaye Ga,

Hum Tab Bajaye Ga.:-)

Pathan: Chalo Phir Theek Hai.

Ek Punjabi Ny Pishawar Me Klashankof ka Soda Kiya..

Pathan: Yahin Per Leni Hai to 40,000

Aur Agar

Ghar Pohachwani hai to

10,000,0

Punjabi: Theek Hai,

Ye Lo Ek Lakh aur Lahore Pohncha Do.

Pathan: Theek Hai,

Ghar Pohanch Ker Phone Kerna.

Punjabi Lahore Pohanch Ker: Haan Khan Sahab,

Me Ghar Pohanch Gaya Hun.

Pathan: Theek Hai,

Klashankof Tumhari Gaari K Nichy Bandha Hua Hai.

1 Pathan Police Station k Bahar se Guzra Aur

Poster per Perha:

"Wanted For Rape & Murder"

Pathan Ny Ander Ja Ker Kaha:

I Want To Apply For this Job".

Pathan Kanjoos Sardar se:

"Kiya Ho Gaya? 

Itny Laal Peely Q Ho Rahy Ho"?

Sardar: 

Pappu ny Aaj Naya Joota Pehna Tha,

Me ny Us se Kaha k Ek k Bajaye

2 Seerhi Charh ker ooper Jana,

Ta K Jooty Ka Tala Kam Ghisay,

Magar Wo Kambakhat 2 k Bajaye

3 Seerhiyan Charhny Laga,

Result Ye Huwa K,

,

,

,

Patloon Phat Gai.

During The Match,

Batsman LBW Hua:

1 Pathan Doosre Se: Log Hum ko Pagal Samajhty hain,

Yahan to Sab Pagal Hain,

Lagi Batsman ko hai Aur Cheekh Bowler Raha Hai.

Once a Pathan was Asked:

"Khan Sahab! Aap ka Favorite Song kon sa Hai?"

.

.

Khan Sahab Replied:

.

.

.

.

"Larki Kyon Najanay Kyon, Larkon Si Nahi Hoti."

Pathan: Yara, Sir ka sms aya hai k Aaj Extra Class hoga,

kiya karun?

.

.

Sardar: "O Yaar, Message Sending Failed" likh ke bhej de Yaar.

Pathan: Abhi Tak Tum se Machhar nahi maray?

Hamara Kaan me Gunguna rahy hn.

Noker: Sahab, Me ny Machhar Maar diye hen,

Ye to Unki Biviyan hen jo

Bewa Ho ker Ro Rahi Hen..

Pathan Darakht pe Ulta Latka Hua Tha.

Wife: Tum Darakht per Q Latka Hai?

Pathan: Sir Dard ki Goli Khaai Hai,

Kahin Pait me na Chali Jaye.

Ek Pathan Job k Liye Form Fill ker Raha Tha.

Form me Ek Option Tha k Aap Ka Star Kiya Hai?

Pathan Ki Samajh me Nahi aya,

Us ny Kisi Aur k Form me Dekha,

Us ny Apny Star k Option me Cancer Likh Tha,

Pathan ny Kuch Socha,

Aur Phir Us Option ki Jaga per,

,

,

BAWASEER Likh Diya..

Pathan Sardar se: 

Yara, Ghari(Clock) Aur Bivi me Kiya Farq Hai??

Sardar: Ek Bigarti Hai to 

"Band" Ho Jati hai,

Aur

Dusri Bigarti Hai to 

"Shuroo" Ho Jati Hai..

Ek Pathan Gaaun se Ek Beemar Murghi Bechny k liye Bazar Gaya.

Ek Admi ny Pathan se Kaha: Is Murghi Ka Sar Q Nichy Hai?

Beemar to ahi Hai??

Pathan: Nahi,

Ye Gaaun Ka Murghi Hai,

Bazar Me Sharma raha hai.

Why can't Pathan dial 911?

They can not find the eleven on the phone

Why can't Pathans make ice cubes?

They always forget the recipe.

On a Romantic day Pathan's Girlfriend asks him:

"Darling, On our Engagement day will you give me a Ring?

.

.

Pathan: Ya Sure, 

from Landline or Mobile..

Pathan Samosy Bech raha Tha.

Admi: Aap k Samosay me se

Larki Ka Baal Nikla Hai.

Pathan: Oye Khocha,

Tum Kiya Chahta Hai

10 Rupy me Puri larki Nikal Aaye.

Pathan: 

Person Meri Bivi Kunwe Me Gir Gai,

Bohat Chot Lagi Bechari Ko,

Bohat Cheekh Rahi Thi.

Dost:

Ab Kesi Hai??

Pathan:

Ab Theek Hai

Kal Se Kunwe Me Se 

Awaz Nahi Aa Rahi.

Pathan: Hamara Parosi ka Bacha Gum ho gaya.

Sardar: Fer Tu ki kita?

Pathan: Hum Usko Bola,

Google pe Search karlo,

Mil jaye to Download ker Lena..

Why do Pathans work seven days a week?

So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

What is the Pathan doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?

Trying to hold on to a thought.

How do you make a Pathan laugh on Saturday?

Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Ek Pathan Ny Newspaper Me Add Diya k

"Hamary Pass Aisi Product Hai,

Jis Ki Pehan Ker Aap

Puri Duniya Ko Dekh Sakty Hen,

Magar Aap Ko Koi Nahi Dekh Sakta.

Qeemat:

Rs.10,000+ Free Home Delivery.

Ek Admi Ny 10,000 Bhijwa Diye.

Do Din Baad TCS Wala Ek Packet De Gaya.

Admi Ny Khushi Khushi Packet Khola To

Us Me,

,

,

,

,

,

Burka Tha Wo Bhi Topi Wala..:-)

Wah Pathan.

Pathan: Yara Uth, Zalzala Araha Hai,

Sara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.

2nd Pathan: So ja Yara,

Ghar To Malik Makan Ka Giray Gay,

Hum To Kirayedar Hain.

Pathan Went to Court

JUDGE:

"Order! Order!"

Pathan:

"1 Pizza, 2 Roll, 3 Burger & 1 Cold-drink!"

JUDGE:

"Shut Up!"

Pathan:

"No,No, 7-Up.

Ek Pathan Apny Gadhay Ko le k Jany Laga,

Lekin Wo Apni Jaga Se Hil Hi Nahi Raha Tha.

Pathan Ny Gadhay Ko Laat maari Aur Kaha:

"Naam KHOTA, Aur Harkat

NAWAZ Jesi".

Doctor Pathan K Bachy Ko Dekh Ker Bola:

Bohat Khubsurat Bacha Hai,

Kitny Maah Ka Hai?

?

Pathan Ghusse Se:

O Pagal Ka Bacha,

Ye Ek hi Maa ka hai..

Pathan Amrood Bech Raha Tha.

Admi: Agar Amrood Me Keera Nikla To..?

Pathan: To Saaf Baat Hai,

Hum Keeray K Paisay Alag Se Le Ga..

Dedicated To All Pathans..

Kuch Students Peshawar Gaye,

Wahan Unhon ny Ek Texi Rent pe li

Driver Pathan Tha,

Students Sara Din

Pathano Per Jokes Sunaty Rahy Aur Hansty Rahy.

Din K ikhtitaam Per Pathan Driver ny

Sab Students Ko 1 Rupay Ka Sikka Diya Aur

Kaha K Apny Shehar Me

Kisi Pathan Faqeer Ko Dena.

Wo Students Aaj Bhi 

Pathan Faqeer Ko Talash Ker Rahy Hen..

Agar Unhen Koi Pathan Milta hai to Wo

Makai Wala,

Bhuttay Wala,

Naan Wala,

Rikshaw Driver,

Kachra Uthany Wala,

Mazdoor,

Lekin Ab Tak Koi Mangny Wala Pathan Nahi Mila.

Zara Sochiye

Tumhara Bivi Chilla Q Rahi Thi

Pathan: Kal Tumhara Bivi Bohat

zor zor se Chilla Q Rahi thi?

Hamara Ghar tak Aawaz aai thi.

Sardar:

Ary kuch nahi Yaar,

Uska Photo facebook pe

Upload karne ke jaga,

,

,

OLX par Upload ho gaya..

Sardar: Yaar Aaj Mujhay Ajeeb Msg Aaya or mera Mobil off Ho Gaya.

Pathan: Aisa Konsa Msg Aya?

Sardar: Battery low.

Pathan: Send Kar...Sabko..

Sardar: Dukh to jivan ka sathi hai aur sukh to ata-jata hai...

Pathan : Sahi baat hai,meri BIWI hamesha sath hi rahti hai,aur meri sali aati-jati hai...

Sardar : Mujhe phone par dhamkiya mil rahi he.

Police: Kaun He Wo?

Sardar: VODAFONE wale,Bolte he Bill N Bhara To Kaat Denge...!!

Sardar office me gulli mar k ghar aa gaya,

usne apni biwi ko boss k sath dekha 

woh bhag k office aa gaya,

Aur bola : BAAP Re ! Boss ne dekh liya hota to pakRa jata..

Sardar-xpres kitne baje ki he?

TT-1 baje

Sardar-local?

TT-9 bje

Sardar-Maalgadi?

TT-(Gusse se) 12 bje lekin tuje kaha jana he?

Sardar-Patri cross KARNI he..

Sardar-'Maths vich fail kyu hoya?

2 Sardar: Teacher kendi hai 5+3=8

Agle din kendi 6+2=8

Fir kendi 4+4=8

.

.

Khud confused he menu kya padayegi..?

Sardar ke piche 1 kutta laga.

Sardar bhagte huye sochne laga,

Saala card to IDEA ka liya tha Phir network VODAFONE ka kaise aa raha hai..

The Bank sends sardar a mail written...

'Your payments are outstandind".

Sardar replies 'Thanks for the compliment.

Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?

Pappu: Amritsar.

Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.

Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.

Teacher: Yes, go ahead.

Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Banto?

Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?

Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pregnant. She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking !!!

Sardar plane land hote hi chillane lga.

Banglore aya banglore aya.Balle Balle'

Air Hostess: Helo sir.B silent

Sardar-ok anglore aya anglore aya alle alle.

Sardar ws getting bitten by mosquitoes d whole night.

He got irritated… Drank poison said, “ab kato salo, sb maroge!”

Sardar On 60th Birthday:

2nd Sardar: Ye Cake Pe Bulb Q Lagaya Hai?

1st Sardar : 60 Candles Lagane Me Mushkil Ho Rahi Thi.

.

.

Isliye 60 Watt k Bulb Laga Diya.

1 Aadmi Sardar ki Betay Se Puchhta Hai:

Beta Papa Ghar Main Hain?

Sardar Ka Beta Sprite Pete Huye

Uncle Seedha Bolo Mummy Se Milna Hai.

Seedhi Baat No Bakwas.

1st Sardar: Mere Pass Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.

Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?

2nd Sardar: Mere Pass Bhi Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.

.

.

Sardar: To Saaley Apni Maa Kiske Paas Hai?

Sardar Aur Banta Ne Zindagi Mai Pehli Baar Rickshaw Dekha.

Sardar: Dekho Kitna Chhota Tanga.

Pathan: Haan!

Aur Gadha to Dekho,

Aadmi Jaisa Dikhta Hai. :-)

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a Little Sardar spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Ek Sardarji Doosre Se,

Main aur Meri Girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain. :-)

Doosra: Wow, Shaadi Kab hai?

Sardar: Meri 7 Oct 2016 ko

Aur uski 13 Nov 2016 ko...

Sardar:Aaj main ne apni bivi ko kisi or k sath cinema jaty huy dekha.

Dost:To un k pechy q nahi gya?

Sardar:Yaar main ne wo film 4 bar dekhi hoi thi.

Friend to pathan

Yar,Sir Ka Msg Aaya Hai Ka Aaj Extra Class Hogi

Kya Karu... . . .. 

Pathan:-'Message sending failed 'likh ke bhej de....!!!

1 Pathan 4 meter lamby pipe se hukka pi raha tha

Dost ne pocha Etny lambay pipe se kion pi rahay ho?

Pathan: Doctor Sahb ne tambako se door renhy ka kaha hai

Sardar ki Biwi came naked in the drawing room to serve Halwa to the guests . 

Sardar screamed .. Beshram Aurat, tu hosh me to hai ??

Wife : Woh jee Receip book may aisaa hi likha thaa naa .

“Serve Hot without any dressing …. Guests will enjoy”

Santa went to a restaurant in China Chinese Waiter: “Sir I have Stewed Liver, Boiled Tongue and Frog’s Legs” 

Santa: “Yaar tu apni problems chhor, Menu Card ley aa..

To Main Batata..

Ek Kutta pathan k piche laggaya

Pathan Gussey me Bolta howa bhaga

Khocha agar tere Bap ka Hakumat nahi hota to tujhe Batata???

Pathan or Gadhe me 3 Batien Common hain

1) Bachpan me Dono bhi Khubsurat The.

2) Bachpan se hi Mehnati hote hn

3) Bare ho kr Dono Transport ka Kaam kerte hai.

Yaar

Pathan: Mera yaar aaya hai chai to bana do.

Wife:

Mein nahi bana rahi.

Pathan

Bana de jab tera yaar aaye ga to mein b bana doonga.

Pathan ki bivi ka rang boht kala tha,

Ek din bivi ne Orange Color ki Sari pehni aur pucha: Kesi lg rhi hu? 

Pathan: Aise jaise SURMEY ki Factory mein aag lgi ho.

Admi bakriyan chara raha tha 

Pathan: ye bakriyan kahan ly ja rhy ho?

Admi: Inhen school chorne ja rha hon

Pathan: Mjy pagal smja ha? Aj to itwar ha

Mrs. SARDAR  was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.

One day she hung up after 25 minutes….

“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”

“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. SARDAR.

One Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar.

His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.

Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.

Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900.

Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like this.

Finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost.

Our Sardar asked whether he will give two.

Jasmeet caught her husband SaRDAR Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”

SaRDAR : “Hidden camera!”

Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

SaRDAR : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”

Sadar : I am a proud man, my son is in medical college.

Pathan : Really, what is he studying.

Sardar : No, he is not studying. They are studying him.

Sardar was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.

The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.

“They should not put up such misleading notices,” said Sardar.

It said, “Fine For Parking Here.”

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.

The ground control issues commands “Rubi!” “Woof!” (its the barking sound) “Press the red button.” “Woof! Woof!”

“Moti!” “Woof!” “Press the white button.” “Woof! Woof!”

“Sardarji!” “Woof.” “Stop barking, feed the dogs and don’t touch anything!”

Two Sardars were walking together… 

Pehla: Oye marr gaye.

 Meri biwi aur meri premika ek saath aa rahi hain.. Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha.

SARDAR`s LEAVE APPLICATION:

Dear Sir,

My wife is ill.As there is no other HUSBAND in the family to look after her.

Kindly grant me leave for 1 day on SUNDAY!

KBC/Amitabh questiond: “In which state Ganga flows?”

Sardar:"Liquid state"

Audience clapped

Amitabh was shocked

Turned to the audience

All were Sardars.. !!!

Sardar on fone:

Maa khush khabri hai

Maa:”Bol beta”

Sardar:”Hum 2 se 3 hogye”

Maa:Mubarak h0 beta hua k beti

Sardar:”Meri biwi ne dosri shadi karli.

Pathan Dr k paas gaya aur bola B.P buhat high hai

Dr! Lab jakar Apna ECG karalo

pathan lab gaya aur ECG bhool gaya aur buhat sochne k baad bola

Mera CNG kardo.

Sardar Ko Elecrtic Chair Pe Bitha Kr Maut Ki Saza Sunai Gai

Jalad: Tumhari Akhri Khwaish Kya Hy?

Sardar: Mujhe Dar Lag Rha Hy Mera Hath Pakar Lo..

Sardar: O minu goli na maarna.

Daku: Q? Dar lagda ay?

Sardar: Minu goli to dar nahi lagda. O jehrri pehle `tthaaa` hondi a, o mera tarraah kadd dendi a.

Q: 1 pathan ko sara din busy rakhne ka aasaan tareeqa kya hy..??

ANS: pathan ko 1 gool kamrey may ley ja kr bolo konay may ja kar beth jao