What is self insult ?????
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An angry boss :"Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai
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Pappu(sar jhuka ke) :"Nahi sir...
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Boss :"Neeche kya dekh rhe ho idiot
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Meri taraf Dekho

Doctor : Kia takleef hai ?

Pappu : Seenay me Bohot dard ho Raha hai !

Doctor : Cigrette Peety ho ?

Pappu :
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Han Par " Gold Flake " he ManGwana sir ....

1 American karachi aya
wo taxi main betha tha jiska driver pathan tha

American
Ye Quaid e azam ka mazar kitnby din mein bana


Pathan
1 maah main


American
Ye hamara mulk mein to 2 weeks main ban jata


Thora aagey jany ky baad Amrican ny phir pocha
ye State Life building kitny din mein bana?



Pathan
Srif 2 weeks main




American
ye hamary mulk mein tu 3 din main ban jati




Habib bank plaza ky paas sy guzrey to
amrican ny pocha ye building kitni din mein bani?








Pathan
pata nahi subha tu nahi thi




lala

Sardar ne apne papa ko father’s day par CAR gift di or ek sher likha.
“phool to bahut hai par Gulab sa nahi,
Papa to bahut hai par aap sa nahi”

Sardar was going to Bombay. While the plane was landing he was so excited and shouted: “Bombay… Bombay”
Air hostess said: “B silent”
 Sardar: “Ok. Ombay… Ombay”

Sardar apne dost k Ghar 16 Bachhon or Biwi k sath Lunch pargaya.
Dost ne Itni Badi Family dekh k Gusse mai kaha- LAJJA NHI AYI
 Sardar: Uska Exam tha isliye nahi ayi

Pathan: Mere Nana ne mujhse choti si baat par rishta tod diya..
 Sardar: Kyun.Kya kha unhone.?
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 Pathan :Unhone kaha..
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Moongphali me dana nhi Hum tumhare Nana Nhi..

Aik Shadi me Pathan bahut der se khana kha raha tha dusre ne pucha “kab tak khaoge?”
 Pathan: “main to khud kha kha k thak gaya hu par card me likha
tha Diner: 7 pm to 11 pm..”

Sardar Asked A Doctor : Doodh Peene Se Rang Gora Hota Hai?
Doctor: Han Hota Hai.
Sardar : Chal Jhoote, Phir Bhains Ka Bacha Kala Kyu Hota Hai?

After eating fish Pathan never drinks water!
Coz
He feared that fish will come alive and start swimming in his stomach!! ;-

Sardar : Judge Saab, Mujhe Divorce Chahiye
judge : Kyun?
 Sardar : Meri Biwi Ne 1 Saal Se Mujhse Baat Nahi Ki
Judge : 1 Bar Phir Sochle Beta, Aisi Biwi Nasib Walo Ko Milti Hai

Sardar Bakri Le Kar Bus Mei Sawar Hua
To Logo Ne Uski Bahot Pitai ki
 Sardar: Mere Sath ek Lady Na Hoti To Tumhe Btata

Sardar ne Pathan se kaha, ”sabse bara challenge kya hai?”

 Pathan replied – answer sheet ko khali chor do aur last me likh dena,
paas kark dikha

Sardar Ne Apne 6 Mnth K Baby Ki B'day party arrange ki, kisi ne pucha: 6 month k baby ka B'day kese?
 Pathan:Hum Semster System Ko Folow Karte Hai....:-)

Sardar: Very Tasty, Aaj to tumhare ghar kheer kha kar majja aa gaya
 Pathan: Agar Billi muhn nahi marti to Kheer aur bhi achi banti .

Beta:Papa Madam Ne aj Ek Sawal Poocha Jiska Jawab Sirf Mujhe malum Tha
Sardar:Mera Shona Puttar, Sawal Kya Tha ???
Beta:Madam Ne Pucha, Black Board K Paas Potty Kisne Ki Hai

Sardar to Son: "maths vich fail kyu hoya"..
Son: 1st day teacher kendi 5+3=8..
Agle din kendi 6+2=8..
fir kendi 4+4=8
 ullu di pathi khud confusd hai mujhe kya padheygi..

Jagjit Singh: Ye daulat bhi lelo.. ye shaurat bhi lelo.. ye daulat b lelo, ye shaurat b lelo...
 Pathan: Ye bechara bahut pareshan hai iski aurat bhi lelo

Sardar: Mera ghar itna bada hai ki usme local train chalti hai.
 Pathan: Yeh to kuchh bhi nahi hai, mera ghar itna bada hai ki agar ek se dusre kone chale jaao to roaming lagti hai.

Doctor:KamZori hai, Fruite khaya karo chilke saMAIT

after 1 hour

 Sardar: Mere Pet me Dard ho raha hai
Doctor: Kya khaya tha?
 Sardar: Pineapple, chilke samait.

Sardar Pathan Se : Yaar mere Pet Mai Gas Hai…!!!
 Pathan : Achha hua Petrol Nahi Hai Warna CNG wale khod dete!

Pathan ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
 Sardar: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
 Pathan: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi

Teacher to Sardar: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.

 Sardar: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...

Sardar: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
 Pathan: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

1 Sardar
Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha
" Wanted For
RAPE & MURDER .."

Sardar Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
" I Want To Apply For
This Job ..."

Sardar: Yar Mere Bal Boht Gir Rahe Hain

Frnd: Wo Kyun?

Sardar: Fikr Se?

Frnd: Konsi Fikr Hai Tume?

Sardar: Bal Girne Ki Fikr Se:-)

Sardar Shouting 2 His GF
" U Said V Will Do Register
Marriage And Cheated Me,
I Was Waiting 4 U
Yesterday Whole Day
In The Post Office...

Teacher: What Is The Difference

Between Landline & Mobile?

Sardar: Landline Par Number

Hum Ungli Se Dial Karte Han

Aur Mobile Par Anguthe Se..

Salsman-Which Soap U Use?

 Sardar-BABA''S Soap,

BABA''S Paste,

BABA''S Brush.

Salsman-Is BABA''S A INTRNATIONAL Company?

 Sardar: Baba Is My Room Mate.

Fakeer 2 Srdar : Apk Parosi Ne
Pet Bhar K Khana Khlaya
Hai Ap B Kuch Khilao ?

Sardar : Ye Lo Hajimola . . . . .

Sardar Police Se:
Kal Raat Chor Mere Ghar Se
TV Ke Ilaava Sab Samaan Le Gaye
Police:TV Kyon Nahi Legaya!?
 Sardar:TV To Me Dekh Raha Tha

Sardar Opened Xerox Shop
And Put A Big Cool Board Outside:
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Xerox Done In All Language

Passenger-Tumne Mere Jeb Me Hath Kyu Dala?

 Sardar-Muje Machis Chahiye Thi.

Pasen-Tum Mujhse Mang Sakte The.

 Sardar-Me Ajnabi Se Bat Nhi Karta.