A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "

Sardar's wish: when I die,

I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Customer:Teri dukan to mithai ki hai

tera dil khaney ko nai krta ?

Pathan: Bohat krta hai magar abba Rus gulay

Ginn k Jata hai is liye choos k rkh deta hon :-

Teacher 2 pthan studnt:
” Agr koi moti si larki palat kar wapis aye

to hum english main kia kahain gy? “

Pathan:

.

.

GOL MAAL RETURNS..!

Ek Pathan Apni BV or 16 Bacho K Sath Dost K Ghar Dawat Pe Gya

Dost Ne Itni Bari Family Dekh Kr Gusse Ma Kaha

Haya Nhi Aai?

Pathan:Nhi UsKa paper tha aj.

Teachr Pthan se:
Alama iqbal k is shaer ki tashrih kro
“khol aankh zmeen daikh falak daikh fiza daikh,
mashriq se ubhrty hove soraj ko zra daikh”

Pathan; is shaer me alama iqbal kehty hen k

“GooD MorninG”:-D;-):-D

1 Jaga Bomb Blast K Bad 1 Admi Chila Raha Tha:
“O God! Mera Hath Urh Gaya”

Pathan:
Hoasla Karo
Mat Roo,
Daikho Us Aadmi
Ka Sar Urh Gaya Hai,
Wo B To Chup Hai.

Teacher: Oye Tumko KUTTEY par Mazmoon
Likh kar Laney ka kaha tha?

Pathan: Hum kya karey, jab Hum ne KUTTEY par Pen rakha tö wo Hamara tang par
Kaat krar bhag gaya

1 Pathan : ooy tere chote bhai ki mochain hain aur teri nahin.

2 pathan: is main kya bari bat hai,
wo abbu pe gaya hai aur main ammi pe.

Pathan to shopkeeper:
Easy Load hai?

Shopkeeper: Jee haan janab.

Pathan: 10 ka naswar Load karo..

Ek pathan rozana apne parosi ki bell

Baja kar bhaag jata tha

Ek din parosi ne pakar kar poocha, ye kya harkat hai?

Pathan: Ye hum miss bell marta hai..

Aik pathan ki biwi mar gayi,

Pathan chup tha magar uski biwi ka lover bohot ziyada ro raha tha.

Pathan ne us se kaha: O yara tum ro mat,

"Hum dobara shaadi kare ga.."

Shahid Afridi in interview

Aap ki umer kitni hai?

24 years.

Lekin 5 saal pehle bhi aap ne yahi kaha tha,

Afridi: Mein 10 saal baad bhi yahi kahoon ga,

Kiu ke

"Pathan apni zuban se kabhie nahi mukrta"..

Pathan shop pe ja k: aik kilo bhains ka dudh de do.

Shop keeper: tmhra brtan chota hai.

Pathan: acha bakri ka de do..

Girl: Mera abbu tume both psand Krte hy .

Phatan: Shrmate hove

“Pr hum shadi tum se he kre ga”

Pathan Ne 1 Ghar me Chor¡ K¡,Sab Kch Lutne K Bad Jayenamaz B Utha L¡

. Malik Bola Ye Jaynamaz To Chor Jao

Pathan: Khocha Hm Tum Ko Kia Kafir Nazar Ata he.

A man to Sardar : Aao ji chess khelein.


Sardar : Tu chal main sports shoes pehen ke aata hun!!

DO sardar jungle main ja rahy thay k achanak shair ( lion ) samnay a gaya .

1st sardar nay uski ankho main mitti daal di or bhagnay laga.

1st sardar: o nus v ..!!
2nd sardar: mitti ty tu pai ay..tu nuss..!!

2 SARDAR k betay ki baraat thi
Sardar 250 afraad le k pohncha,


Larki ka baap: Tum ne tou kha tha k 50 bandey honge?


Sardar: bande 50 e ne, baqi saarey chawal ney

1 pathan ki mout bijli girne se hoi!. Per uski laash haste hue mili, Farishton ne pocha aisa kion?

Pathan:Hum samjha koi hamara photo kheench raha hai

Pathan-hum raat ko sapna dekha ki hum Katrina ke sath Beach pe uski zulfe swar rha tha par fir achanak kahin se barish hone laga
Man-Bewakoof,tum kutte ke sath so rhe the aur usne susu kar diya tha

Pathan Ne Apni Biwi Ko Goli Maar Di,,,
Kyun Ke Usne Sirf Itna Kaha Tha Ke
Mein Apni Zindagi,,
.
.
.
.
.
"Shan" Aur "Shoukat" Ke Sath Guzarna Chahti Hon..!!

Pathan : Nothing ka kiya matlb hai?

Frnd : kuch nahi Pathan : o yaraa aesa nai hota yar jb b koi word banta hai toh us ka koi matlb b hota hai :-)} 

Pathan England mein khana khane gaya or bhool gaya k murghi ko english mein kia kehty hain

waiter: "What do u want to have?"

Pathan: "Mother of eggs plz"

Sardar pathan k bachay ko dekh k bola bohot khubsurat hai

kitnay mah ka hai

Pathan ghusay se bola Khabees ka bacha ye ek he maa ka hai

Pathan ki Taang me Gehra Cut lag Gaya:

Nurse: Is Mai 10 Tankey Lagenge.

Pathan: Kitna kharcha hoga?

Nurse: 3000

Pathan: Tanka Lagwana Hai.

Karhai Nahi Karwani.

Doctor Pathan sey : khan sahab tumhara 1 GUrda fail hogaya hia

Pathan rotey hue bola : kitne numbers se.

1 pthan ki murgi beemar hui

, Sardar: tm is ka sadqa utaro.

Phr wohi hua jo hona tha,

PTHaN ne murghi k lye 1 bakra sadqa kr dya

Pathan`s wife send an SMS to Pathan: I Miss U.

Pathan: I Mister U.

Sardar to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisaswaad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peette huye: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

Q: How do you recognize Sardar's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

sardar: Wife agar husband ko naukar samjhe to husband ko kyakarna chahiye?
patahn: Zyada kuch nahi, do char ghar aur pakad lene chahiye.

Sardar: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Pathan: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

2 Hijare ek shaadi ki badhai dene gaye.
Haye haye mai to 1100 lungi.
Dusri Boli mai to 2100 lungi.
Peeche se Sardar bola Abey 2310 le lo usme FM bhi hai! new 2011 wala!

Sardar: tere pita ji tailor hai aur teri shirt fati hai,bade shrm ki baat hai..
Pathan:Ishse bhi bade shrm ki baat yeh hai ki tere pita ji dentist hai fir bhi tera bhai bina dant k paida hua...

Sardar Wrote BILL GATES
Abt PCS & WINDOWS Problmz
1- My Child Learnd
MS WORD Nw He Wants
MS SENTENCE
2 - Find Only RE-CYCLE
But No RE-SCOOTER
I Need It, As I Owe A
Vespa Scooter
3 - I See MS OFFICE But I
Need MS HOME, As I Use
PC At Home
4 - Finaly, Howz Dat
Ur Name Is GATES But
U r Selling WINDOWS ...

Train mai SARDAR apni wife se: Tujhse shaadi karke pachchhta raha hoo, dil karta hai k tujhe kutte ke daal du
Saamne Baitha passenger: Bhow, BHow, BhoW, Bbhow ...

Sardar Police Se:
Kal Raat Chor Mere Ghar Se
TV Ke Ilaava Sab Samaan Le Gaye
Police:TV Kyon Nahi Legaya!?
Sardar:TV To Me Dekh Raha Tha

Sardar:I''ve Pain In Ma Ryt Leg
Doc:Its Nothin .Its Only Coz Of Old Age.
Sardar:As Far As I Know,
Both Ma Legs R Of Same Age

Fakeer 2 Srdar : Apk Parosi Ne
Pet Bhar K Khana Khlaya
Hai Ap B Kuch Khilao ?

Sardar : Ye Lo Hajmola . . . . .

Salsman-Which Soap U Use?

Santa-BABA''S Soap,
BABA''S Paste,
BABA''S Brush.

Salsman-Is BABA''S A INTRNATIONAL Company?
Santa: Baba Is My Room Mate.

Sardar K Truck K Peechay Likha Tha
"Chota Parivar Sukhi Parivar"
Or Uske Nechay
Tinu, Minu, Chintu, Chinky, Pinky, Guddu, Guddi, Sonu, Monu,
Te Sohan De Papa Di Gaddi!

Sardar ne shok me roza rakh lia
he asked 2 his son:vekh,suraj dooba
son:nai g
again asked: dooba kia
son:nai g
Sardar:lagda hay menu lay k he dubay ga

1 Sardar
Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha
" Wanted For
RAPE & MURDER .."

Sardar Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
" I Want To Apply For
This Job ..."

Teacher: What Is The Difference
Between Landline & Mobile?
Sardar: Landline Par Number
Hum Ungli Se Dial Karte Han
Aur Mobile Par Anguthe Se..

Some1 Wrote 2 Sardar,

"Agr Tum Zaheen Ho To Rs100 Bhejo.

Hoshyar Ho To 200. Agr Dono Ho To 300 Bhejo"

Sardar Sent Rs 600 N Wrote,

"O-A Main Sabka Baap Hon

Sardar Laughing behind Pathan at ATM Machine,
Ha ha I have seen your password,
Pathan: What is it?
Sardar: It is 4 stars (* * * *)
Pathan: Ha haa ha! You are wrong, it`s 2710.....

1 pathan naha raha tha, k aik dost darwazey pe aaya,
Pathan aise he bahar aagaya,
Dost bola: Kuch to pehan lo yaar.
Pathan bhag ker andar gaya aur CHAPPAL Pehan ker aagaya...

Pathan to Sardar: Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?
Sardar: Frog
Pathan Theek hai, or batao,
Sardar: Frog da Piyo, Maa, Pra or Behen.
Pathan: Shabash......

Pathan Khudkushi kar raha tha,
Kisi ne kaha aisa kyon kar rahe ho?
Pathan: Hamara bivi hamare dost k sath bhag gai hai.
Or hum apna dost k baghair ji nahi sakta...

Pathan was thinking hard.
Wife: kya soch rahe ho?
Pathan: Ye GEO walon ko kese pata chata hai?
Wife: kya?
Pathan: Yahi k aap dekh rahe hain GEO TV...

Sardar ne Hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha.


Hindi teacher ne unko pair par ulta latakne ki saza di.

 Thori der latakne ke baad Sardar neeche gir gaya.



Hindi Teacher: Thak gaye kya?

 Sardar: Nahi pakk gaya !

1 Truck Dusre Truck Ko Rassi
Bandh kr Le Ja Raha Tha



 Ye Dekh K Sardar Road Par
GIR GIR k


Hasne Laga:



"1Rassi Le Jane K Lye Do Do
Truck…!”

Sardar:Mujhe Tou Aankhey

Band Karney Par Bhi Dikhayi Deta Hai.

Pathan:Achchaa, Kya Dikhta Hai?

 Sardar:Andhera.

Sardar: Yar Mere Bal Boht Gir Rahe Hain

Frnd: Wo Kyun?

 Sardar: Fikar Se?

Frnd: Konsi Fikr Hai Tume?

Sardar: Bal Girne Ki Fikar Se:-)

Sardar Ne Bus Me Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya.

Ladki- Tumhare Ghar Me Maa Behen Nahi He Kya??

 Sardar- Kya Pata Me To Subah Se Ghar Se Bahar Hu..

Sardar-Oye Kya Kr Raha Ho?
 Pathan-Is Bache Ki Aawaz Record Kr Raha Hun!
 Sardar-Kyun?
 Pathan-Wo Jab Bada Ho Jaega,Use Iska Matlab Puchunga

Teacher:Wo Kon C Cheez Hay
Jo Insan Ke Izzat Ko Mazbooti

Say Jakray Rakhti Hay?
Sardar Je: MISS

"NARRA":-)

Sardar Shouting 2 His GF

" U Said V Will Do Register Marriage And Cheated Me,

I Was Waiting 4 U Yesterday

Whole Day In The Post Office...."

Airhostess: Sir ap kia lain gy?

pathan: Milk badam, kheer,pakora, tandori chicken wid naan & niswar

Airhostess: Sir tusi jahaaz ty aaye ho apny peo dy viaah ty nhe

Molvi Pathan Se: Ghusal k Kitne Faraaiz Hain ?

Pathan: 3

Molvi: Shabash Kon Kon Se? . . . . .

Pathan: Shampoo, Saabun Aur Toliya.

Pathan Ka Gadha Gum Ho Gaya,

Pathan Use Dhond'te Hue Ek Park Pohncha!!

Wahan Ek Larka Apni Girlfriend Ki Aankhon Me Dekhte Hue Keh Raha Tha...

Mujhe Tumhari Aankhon Me Sari Dunya Nazar Arahi Hai.

Pathan Chillaya Or Bola, Bhai Dekhna Zara Mera Gadha Nazar Arha Hai Kahin...:-)

Girl to Pathan:Tm Khali Pait Ktna Apple Kha Skta Hy?

Pathan:4

Girl:Nhi! Sirf 1,Kiuki Usky Baad To Tmhara Pait Khali To Nhi Rahega Na

Pathan:Wah Yara Kamal Hogya!
Hm Apny Dost Ko b Batayega . .

Pathan,Dost Sy:Tm Khali Pait Ktna Apple Kha Skta Hy?

Dost:5

Pathan O Yara!Tu 4 Bolta To Itna Mazedar Joke Sunata! 

Teacher: 2 mai se 2 minus krdo to kya bacha?

Pathan: humko sawal samaj nhi aya

Teacher: tumare pas 2 rotiyan thi tmne unko kha lia ab kya bcha?

Pathan: salan...

Girl PATHAN se Jb ap k pas mobile hy or mere pas b mobile hy to ap ne LETTER kyo bheja?


Pathan: O humne tumko call kia tha us me baji boli plz TRY LETTER.

Pathan: Hum Bachpan may bohat taqatwar tha

Dost: Wo kaisay ?

Pathan: Hamara Maa kehta he Jab Hum Rota tha, to sara Ghar Sar pe otha leta tha.

1 pathen n other pathan were watchin a cricket match.

When Afridi hits a boundary.

1st pathan: Kya Goal mara.

2nd pathan : Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai

1 pathan ka mobile chori ho gaya.

Pathan bohat roya, rote rote hasne lga.

Kisi ne pocha hans kyu rhe ho.?

Pathan bola mobile to le gya pr charger to mere pas hy na..

Queen Elizabeth & Pathan were havng candle light dinner.

Queen says- Pass d wine u divine!

"Pathan thinks-"how poetic"!

Pathan says-"pass d roti u moti":D

Pessenger : Agr Sub Trains Late Hon To Time Table Ka Kya Faida ? . .

Pathan : Agr Sb Trains Waqt Per Hon To Waiting Room Ka Kya Faida . . 

America : Hum Chand per jakr jahaz banyge .

Pathan : hum soraj pr ja kr naswar banayga .

America : Tum jal jaega.

Pathan : Hum Pagal nhe hum raat ko jayga.

Pathan na apna bacha ka naam america rakh lea . Logo na pocha aap ka dushman ha america aap na apne bache ka naam america rakh lea .

Pathan : ne kaha hum dunya ko batana chahta ha ka pathan america ka baap hai.

Pathan Job K Liye London Jata Hai:

Officer: Tum Pakistan Main Kya Karobaar Kartay Thy?

Pathan: Selling G.S.K.

Officer: Ye Kya Hai?

Pathan: Garam Shakar Kandi.

Ek Pathan Bandooq Le Kar Machchli Ka Shikaar Karny Jungle Main Gaya. . . . . . . .


Jao Rey Tum Bhi Pathan Nikla, Joke To Uppar He Khatam Ho Gaya Tha.

Pathan ki Taang me Gehra Cut lag Gaya:

Nurse: Is Mai 10 Tankey Lagenge.

Pathan: Kitna kharcha hoga?

Nurse: 3000

Pathan: Tanka Lagwana Hai. Karhai Nahi Karwani.

Pathan: O Yara! Ye Bakra Kitne Ka Hai?

Aadmi: 28000 Ka.

Pathan Hairaan Ho Kar: .. .. .. .. .. Camera Wala Hai?

Pathan Public Toilet Gaya to Deewar Pe Likha Tha:

"Dunya Chand Pe Pohnch Gai Aur Tum Yahan Bethe Ho?"

Pathan Ne Neeche Likh Diya: "Bas Ye Kar K Hum Bhi Ja Raha Hai" 

Sardar: Agar 1 Hathi Sui k Surakh Me Se Guzarne ki. Koshish Kar Raha Ho To Usy Rokne k Liye Kiya Karna Chaye?

Admi: Us Ki Dum Pe Girah Laga Do Phans Jaye Ga

pathan : aj hum film dekhne gaya tha theatre tu waha tu sach much aik admi ko kata jaraha tha 

sardar : tum kaun se theatre gaye the ?

pathan : opration theatre

Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so.



He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.



Judge asked : How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied : Ok! We’ll apply next year.

Sardar : What is the name of your car?



Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Phone ki ganti baji. Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.

Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…

Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.

Bill : I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.

Bill : Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.

Bill : More….More…More… Sardarji went upto 100 Feet.

Bill : So now, try to search something.

Sardarji : I got a Wire.

Bill : You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was in India.

Banta meets a policeman on a way and asks, “Excuse me, officer, but did you know that my wife has had an affair?”

The policeman, surprised, “No! I didn’t know”

Banta breathed deeply, exclaiming, “So I’m not the last one to know after all”.

One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way…

Friend : Why are you pushing your scooter manually?

Sardarji : I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.

Friend : Is it! then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?

Sardarji : I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.

Ek raat bijli chali gayi,

Sardar: oye kam se kam fan to chalao.

Sardani: kar di na sardaron wali baat fan on karenge to candle bujh jayegi.  

A Couple Went To England

& Went To A Hotel

Man To Waiter:
Sir, Most Respectfully I Beg To Say That I M Ill & Cannot Come To School, Therefore Kindly Grant Me Tea For 2 Days.

Waiter Brings Tea

Wife: Wah Jee Tuwanu Te Furr Furr English Aandi Aey

Sardar : Hally Ty Ma Paani Wastey Thirsty Crow Nahi Sunai 

'Teacher: if 2 and 2 makes four how is 4 & 4?  

Sardar : This is not fair teacher, you always do the easy ones and leave the hard ones for me.'

Pathan: Mujhe Raat Bhar Neend Nahi Aai.

Sardar: Q?

Pathan: Kyo Ki Kal Raat Bhar Neend Mein Yahi Sapna Dekhta Raha K Main Jaag Raha Hun.

Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya: Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?

Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.

Sardar: Lo Batao, Kitni Lambi Umar Hai. :-)

Sardar apni shadi pe udaas tha kisi ne poocha kya bat hai?

Sardar: Mere susral ne Barat pe thoray logon ka kaha hai. Pata nai Abba mujhe le jata hai ya nahi

Sir: Muhavre Ka Istemal Karo.

"Mun Me Pani Aana"

Sardar: 

Jaise Hi Maine Nal Ko Muh Laga K Nal Chalu Kiya,

Mere Mooh Mai Pani Aa Gaya.

Ek Aisa Sentense Batao Jis Mein

URDU , HINDI , PUNJABI Aur ENGLISH Ka Sahi Use Hua Ho . . . . . .

Sardar : ISHAQ DI GALI VICH NO ENTRY 

1 Pathan se kisi ne pocha k Khan Saab Kuch log Pathano pe itne sms q banate hain?

Khan Saab ne muskura kr kaha: Ye wo log hain jo Bachpan ka ghussa ab Utaar rahe hain.

Sardar Kid : Daddy someone is asking for donation for the swimming pool in the colony!

Sardar Dad: Give them a glass of water

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.

He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.

Sardar ko dost ne khane pe bhulaya, ghar pe tala laga hua tha aur likha hua tha “Bewakuf Banaya”.

Sardar ne hoshyari dikhayi niche likh diya“Hum Yahan Aye Hi Nahi The”.

A Pathan go to a store and sees a shining object.

He asks the clerk,

"What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."

The Pathan then asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."

The Pathan says, "I'll take it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.

His Pathan boss sees him and asks,

"What is that shiny object with you?"

He said, "It's a thermos flask."

The boss then says, "What does it do?"

He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"  

The Pathan replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

Sardar was reading financial times. Headline reads "Microsoft buys skype for $8.5 billion."

He says "o teri, khareeda kyon... .download kar leta...."

1 sardarni dusri sardarni se: Meri 20 saal tak koi olaad nai hui

Dusri sardarni: Phir ? 

1st sardarni: Phir kia, jab me 21 sal ki hui to abu ne meri shadi kar di aaj Mola k fazal se 3 kake hain

1 sardar bus main betha us k samnay 1 molvi beth gia sardar dar gia or bola "molana saab tusi dum darood walay oo yha bumb barood walay?"

Pessenger : Agr Sub Trains Late Hon To Time Table Ka Kya Faida ?

. . Phatan : Agr Sb Trains Waqt Per Hon To Waiting Room Ka Kya Faida . .

Motorway police:KHAN ap 180 Kì speed sy kyn ja rahy ho

KHAN:Tm logn ny he to side waly board pe likha hy:

YAD RAKHN GHR PE KOI AP KA INTIZR KR RHA HY 

Pathan raat ko Machardani laga kar so raha tha: Achanak ek Jugnoo aa nikla. . . . . . .

Pathan: Lo ye khocha machar humko Torch le kar dondh raha hai.

Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?

Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai

Sardar to Pathan: Batti te Batti kintay honday?

Pathan: Very simple Do Battian.

Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

Pathan: Thanks Yara..

Pathan: Mujy rat ko neend me khotay football khelte nazr atey hen.

Dr. Aj ye goli kha lena.

Pathan: Kal na kha lon?

Dr: Q?

Pathan: Aj unka final match hy.....

A sardar threw 6 cricket balls at his Girl Friend's house.

Girl Friend: what was that for?

Sardar: Its Over

Sardar doctor sb mainon neend ni aandi, Doctor:2000 tak ginti gina karo, neend aa jaey gi. Dosry din sardar ny bataya, Doctor sb:1000 taak ponchiya c neend aa gai,fer doodh patti bana k peeti, fer dosra 1000 poora gin k soya

Faqeer: 5 rupay ka sawal hai baba. . . .

Pathan: Chalo pocho shayd ham ko jawab ata ho...

Afsar:Tell me the opposite of "day". Pathan:Night Afsar:Cool Pathan:warm Afsar:Ugly Pathan: pichli Afsar:I said"UGLY" Pathan:I said "PICHLI" Afsar: oh my God Pathan: oh my devil Afsar:Get out Pathan:Come in Afsar:U r rejected Pathan:I am selected! Afsar: keep quiet. Pathan: speak tight. Afsar: go to hell. Pathan: come to paradise. Afsar: nikal jao jahil kahi ke. Pathan: andar aao laiq yahin ke. Afsar: police ko bulao. Pathan: Fauj ko bulao. Afsar: uffff Pathan: Tufffff. Afsar.purrrrrrr Pathan. Turrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr kuch b kar le tera baap b ab mujhe fail nahi kar sakta.

aik sardar k betay ne admission form fill krte wakt baap se pucha k is men MOTHER TONGUE waly khany men kia lkhna he sardar ne kaha likh de puter VERY LONG..

Pathan: Hum is kamre me nhi rahe ga hmko pagal samjha hai kia? Paisa itna diya or kamra itna chota sa..... Waiter: Oye, Paagle andar to chal ye lift hai.

Interviewer: Sardarji, Where were u born?
Sardarji: In punjab.
Interviewer: Which part ?
Sardarji: Which part?, Whole body born in punjab…

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

Once price Charles and a Sardarji were having dinner. Prince said: pass the wine u divine. Sardar thought how poetic so he said: pass the custard u bastard..

A Sardarji was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman. He whispered into her ear, "I love you." She smiled and whispered back,"I love you too". then he whispered, "I love you three."

What is the height of stupidity? 2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat.

Sardar was giving Railway interview.
Interviewer: what to do to avoid train accidents..?
Sardar: HUMPS should be made on Railway Tracks.

Teacher: U call ur mother as MUM... what’ll u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sister? Sardar’s son: Mini Mum & Maxi Mum!

DR.CHOPRA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST WANTED HIS NAME TO BE
PAINTED IN FRONT OF HIS CLINIC.GIVE THE WORK A SARDAR.
HE WROTE LIKE THIS:-

DR.CHOPRA PSYCHO THE RAPIST !!

SARDARJI AND HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO.
DRIVER ADJESTED MIRROR.
SARDARJI SHOUTED " U R SEEING MY WIFE,
U RASCAL GO AND SIT BACK I WILL DRIVE.

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Sardar2: ho, truck nambar BC-1760!!

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to USA?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up.

How do you identify a Sardar in a classroom ?

It is simple.. check who's erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board.

Sardar, standing on a platform, suddenly jumps on a railway track.

Man: Oye Sardarji.. mar jaaoge.

Sardarji: Marega tho tu.. Sunaa nahi ? Train platform par aa rahi hai.

Sardar set his marriage on March second.

His invitation read: "Marriage on March second. Please come on first night"

Friend: Yaar, tujhe to Cancer hai. Par tum sabko AIDS kyun bataataa hai ?

Sardar: Taki mere marne ke baad meri biwi ko koi line na maare.

2 Sardar ko 3 bomb mile. Police ko dene chale.

Sardar 1: Agar koi bomb raste me phat gaya to ?

Sardar 2: Jhoot bol denge ki sirf 2 hi mile the.

Ek raat power jaane ke baad..

Sardar1: Jaldi se fan chlao.
Sardar2: kar di na sardaron wali baat,fan on karenge to candle nahin bhuj jayegi.

Sardar was writing past tence of "I make a mistake"

Guess what he wrote ?

"I was made by a mistake"

Napoleon: There are no words called IMPOSSIBLE and FEAR in my dictionary.
Sardar: What should I do ? You should have checked it before buying

Sardar went for an interview.

Question: When is your birthday ?
Sardar: Jan 15.
Question: Which year ?
Sardar: Every year !!

A Sardar was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated. He drank the poison and said: "Ab kaato saalo... Sab maroge"

A sardar soldier cought an enemy soldier.

Sardar: Play this dice. If you get 1,2,3,4 or 5 I will leave you.
Enemy: What if I get 6 ?
Sardar: You have to play again !!

.
1st archer, wearing a long cap covering his face, fires an arrow, which finds center of the target.
He takes off his cap & said:
I'M ROBIN HOOD
Crowd cheers
.
2nd archer with a cap fires his arrow, which cuts Robin Hoods arrow into 2. He
takes off his cap & said:
I'M WILLIAM TELL.
Crowd cheers
.
Finally Sardar with cap fires his arrow. It flies past the crowd & kills the king
.
Sardar takes off his cap & said:
I AM
.
.
.
SORRY!!:

A sardar spent 3 hours in a library reading a book, and then said, "So boring yaar... So many characters but no story"
Librarian said: "Sardarji this is a telephone directory"

One person to Sardar: I called you so many times, and your cell said "Switched off"
Sardar: Oye! Woh to meri hello tune hai !!

Sardar came to the exam with a plumber. Reason ? He had heard that the question paper was leaked !!

Ek chor ne sardar ka mobile leke bhag gaya... Sardar ne haste haste bola "Bhag le bhag, bevakoof, charger to mere paas hai !!"

An astronomer was watching the sky using his telescope. A sardar was observing him. Suddenly a star falls... Sardar shouts: "Kya nishana lagaya boss !!

Once Sardarji went to a hotel. But he took only tea and came back. Why ?
Because it was Kamath (Kha-mat) hotel !!

Sardar: Oye mera shampoo k sath wala free gift de

Shopkeeper:
Sardar g us k sath koi gift nhi hay

Sardar:
bakws na kr Shampoo pe likha ha
"DANDRUFF FREE"

Bv, begum aur wife mei kya farq hai ?

pathan: kuch khas nahi bus ye b baharat,india aur hindustan ki tarah ek he dushman k 3 naaam hain

1 Molvi aur Pathan ne Samandar ke kinary Board dekha jispe likha tha

"DOOBTY KO BACHANY WALY KO 500 ka INNAM"

MOLVI: Main jump lagata hun tum muje bachana is tarha 500 milenge hum fifty fifty ker lengy.

Ye keh kar Molvi ne jump laga di.

Pathan Khamoshi se daikhta raha to molvi ne chilla ke kaha: "Muje Tairna nhi aata tum mje bachate kyun nahi?

PATHAN: Tum ne board ke neeche nahi parha, neeche likha tha

"LAASH NIKALNE WALY KO 2000 KA INAAM"

2 Seat wala Jahaz QABRISTAN me Gir k tabah ho Gaya

Govt ne 1 pathan ko Investigation k liye bheja

Usne itla Di k
238 Lashen mil gai hen

Mazeed KHUDAI jari hY......

Supervisor : What is your Qualification ?


Sardar : Sir I am PHD.


Supervisor : What do you mean by PHD ?


Sardar : Passed High School With Difficulty.

Sardar in computer exam;

Examiner
"what is MS Excel?"

Sardar: "it is a new branch of surf excel to clean the computer."

Teacher to pathan: Agar tum mobile se 15 ki jaga 51 dial karo to kya hoga?
Pathan: Very simple,
Police ki gari reverse me ayegi.

Salesman: Sir, do you want this powder ?
Sardar: For what ?
Salesman: For ants
Sardar: No. If I give powder today, they will ask lipstick tomorrow

Russia: We are first in space
USA: We are first on the Moon
Sardar: We are first on the Sun
Russia & USA: The Sun is very hot. You will get burnt
Sardar: Do you think we are idiots? We go there at night

Sardar fell from first floor. People gathered. One of them asked Sardar: "What happened"
Sardar: "I too don't know.. I came here just now"

Sardar was riding a bike... A police tried to stop him
Police: "Stop! Stop!! Your bike doesn't have headlight"
Sardar: "It doesn't have breaks too"

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. Why?

The report said, "DELIVERED".

Sardar's theory: The moon is more important than the sun, because the moon gives light at night when it is needed, but the sun gives light during day when it is available abundantly...

Sardar was drawing money from ATM.

A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).

Sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

Sardar went to an interview.

Interviewer: Imagine that you are in the fifteenth floor. Suddenly fire bursts out, and there are many people who are struggling to survive. In that situation, what do you do ?

Sardar: Oye! I will stop imagining

Sardar bought a lottery ticket for 10 Rs. Luckily Sardar won 10 crores for that. He went to the shop to collect the prize money. The owner cut the tax and gave him 7 crores.

Sardar: Give me full 10 crores or give my 10 Rs. back

A person went to a Sardar's shop.

Person: I want 2007 calender

Sardar: Sorry sir, you are too late. We have only 1000 calenders left

Sardar bought a new colour TV and put it in water. Why?



He wanted to check whether colour goes or not!!

Sardar bought a new colour TV and put it in water. Why?



He wanted to check whether colour goes or not!!

Teacher: Tell a compound sentence.
Sardar: Stick No Bills!

Interviewer: Do you know Microsoft Office?
Sardar: No, but I can find it if you give address...

Sardar reported for his university final examination, which consists of Yes/No type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on.

Sardar replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."

Sardarni to a doctor: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya
Doctor: I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English
Sardarni: My londa gironda from Hero Honda

Sardarni to a doctor: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya
Doctor: I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English
Sardarni: My londa gironda from Hero Honda

Boss: Ek achcha mirror leke ao, jisme mujhe mera chehra dikhayi de.
Sardar: Boss, mein sab dukaan gaya, par sab mein mere hi chehra dikha... Apka chehra dikhanewala kahin nahi mila

ISRO sent a Sardar to Moon. Sardar got into rocket, but jumped halfway, shouting "How dare you cheat me. Today is new moon day. There will be no moon"

MD: I give you driver job. Starting salary is 2000 Rs.

Sardar: Oh, thank you. What is the driving salary and stopping salary?

Interviewer: What is a skeleton?

Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it!!

Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773

Sardar: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...

A famous Sardar's declaration to the media: "I will never marry in my life. And I will advise the same to my children too"

Bus conductor: Ticket, ticket

Sardar: Give two tickets

Conductor: Why two?

Sardar: If I lose one, another will be there

Conductor: What if you lose both?

Sardar: No problem, I have pass...

Sardar looked himself in a mirror and said: "Isko kahin dekha hai... Haan! Yaad aaya, yeh to wahi kameena hai jo mere shaadi ke album mein mere biwi ke saath hai"

Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why? He wanted to avoid side effects!

Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand "

Bank manager asks Sardar in an interview: "What is cyclone"

Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

Three Sardars were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his hand. One of the Sardars told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space

Sardar climbed a tree. Monkey asked: "Too uper kyon aaya?"

Sardar: "Apple Khane"

Monkey: "Yeh to mango tree"

Sardar: "Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon"

Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why?

Because the doctor told him to check sugar regularly

TEACHER : Ek Aisa Sentense
Batao Jis Mein URDU , HINDI ,
PUNJABI Aur ENGLISH Ka Sahi
Use Hua Ho
.

.

.

.

.

.

Sardar : ISHAQ DI GALI VICH
NO ENTRY ....

1 pathan dosry pathan se:

yar mai ne suna hai k BURHAPA boht boori bimari hai

2nd pathan

han yar kal iss bimari se 16 bachey mar gaye

Polio team; Darwaze par Bachey hain?
Pathan; Beta pistal aur cartoos lay ao.
Polio team bhagte huwey pichey say awaz aiee, tehro ye mere bacho k name hain...!

Police : Tmara Dost Kese Mara?

Pathan : Pta Nhi,

Wo Bola " Mere Pait Mai Chuhe
Kood Rhe Hai ".

" To Meine Use
Chuhe Maarne Ki DAWA Khila Di... :p ;->

Police : Tmara Dost Kese Mara?

Pathan : Pta Nhi,

Wo Bola " Mere Pait Mai Chuhe
Kood Rhe Hai ".

" To Meine Use
Chuhe Maarne Ki DAWA Khila Di... :p ;->

teacher: "sara sub larkon se baat krti hai"


btao is sentence mai sara kya hai.??

Pathan Students:
sir sara BIGAIRAT hai..

Pathan ne machis KI tili jalai
na jali

dosri jalai
na jali

tisri tili jalai
wo jal gai

to Pathan ne jaldi se bujha di
aur bola
ye kaam ki hai rakh leta hun

Aik pathan nadi ke kenare nahara tha,ke aik admi aya aur uske kapre chori karke bhaga.Pathan ne awaz mari ,O laka kapre rakhle magar naswar to deja,

Ek din aik pathan ki apne baap se larrai ho gye.

Us ne baap ki photo qabrastan main ek tree pr laga di aur us k neeche likh dia

"coming soon"

Policeman: Tum Ne Beech Road Pe Bus Q Rok Di?

Pathan: Hum Shehr Me Naya Aya Hy Mgr Qanoon Nhi Torta, Wo Samne Dkho Likha Hy ''Bus Stop'' Tou Hum Ne Rok Dia

A man asks Sardar: mai apne Boss se English kese pochon ke kal chhutti hai ya nahi
















Sardar: Tomorrow is a holiday...........True or False